At this moment, a shorter, chubbier Ron Jeremy is in my basement replacing my boiler.
I'm paying him $6800 for this.
Do you think I'll get an autograph?
Do you think it's inappropriate to ask to see...you know- that one thing?
You know, silly.
His master's degree.
What did you think I was referring to, you dirty little birds?
23 comments:
I thought you wanted to see him cut his hair and shave his mustache...that's what I'd want to see...and maybe a clean shirt..
Stacie
For some reason, I don't want to see his credentials.
Well, I ask to see his uh... "Masters Degree"; however, I don't think I'd be proud of myself for it... Hell, who am I kidding? I have no shame--Go For Broke!!!!
Oh yeah, I remember that one. Ron Jeremy shows up to replace the water heater and bow chicka bow wow rampant sex breaks out. Be careful there WM.
Wait, maybe I'm confusing that with the one where Ron Jeremy shows up to fix the kitchen sink and then sex happens. Or was it the refrigerator? Either way, everyone gets laid.
This reminds me of the time AS installed a phone system at a sex school...
Rumor has it that Ron Jeremy is actually Rasputin, the mad Russian monk, and has been killed repeatedly by various STDs only to be "reserected" by psychotic porn stars. What's in your wallet?
This to me was the funniest bit of trivia in the Ron Jeremy bio:
Is quite a talented piano player (and pipe organ by extension).
Pipe organ by extension? TELL ME that wasn't intentional!!
Eww! For $6800 I sure hope you get an autographed boiler.
$6800, lord girl for that much they should have sent you a Clive Owen look alike.
Wait a minute...they should have sent the real thing for that crazy ass amount of money. (she says praying her boiler doesn't all of the sudden give out)
Wow. that's like one of my darkest fantasies...the boiler repair man...only he doesn't look like Ron Jeremy in my fantasy. Sorry.
Is it even possible for Ron Jeremy to be shorter and chubbier????? Please please take a picture for us!
I think the picture you posted is as much Ron Jeremy as I need to see.
I'd want a boiler and a good time for that price!
He's taking $6800 from you, so he's clearly found new ways to screw people.
Ba dump bump
Go ask him - I dare ya!
Sounds like a plot to me!
Maybe he'll offer to "warm you up" after he gets done. Bom chicka wow wow.
I'm sitting here watching bits of Gene Simmons Family Jewels. When the picture of Ron Jeremy popped up on my screen I immediately thought, 'wow those two could be touch-hole relatives'. At least look wise...a little...Gene's taller...does anybody else see the resemblance?
Sorry about your furnace. You will be worry free and toasty warm soon.
Wait. You have a boiler? Is that an olde-timey word for furnace, or is your house older than dirt?
Also, thank you for reminding me that my own furnace could go any day now, and it will cost me entirely more than I'm comfortable with to replace. Fun!
Must be a really big boiler.
(frankly I think you are getting off the hook easy at $6800, which is scary and sucks.)
Ah. So that's what people call it these days, a "master's degree." Interesting.
I got a kick out of all your commenters and their sound effects:
"ba dump bump" which is like the drums you hear played at the end of a stupid joke or pun. I'm going to have to remember that one.
"bom chicka wow wow" self explanatory
I'm surprised someone hasn't mentioned a screechy cat: "RRRWWWWAAAARRR!!!"
I'll put my talents up against Ron Jeremy's any day of the week.
Hell, I know my way around a boiler like nobody's business.
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