When you have long hair, it's more noticeable when you, well... shed. It gets into every nook and cranny of your home. It rolls in tumblehairweeds across the floors when you don't sweep for a long time (not that I would ever let it get that bad. My housekeeper, Florence takes care of those sorts of things). It gets in your underwear (don't ask).
And, it clogs your drains.
When my tub drain starts getting a little slow and I am starting to feel as if I'm taking a shower during a massive flood, it can only mean one thing.
The hairy drain monsters have returned (be afraid):
(read this in a quiet, nature show announcer voice)
Shhh. We must approach quietly so as not to scare it. When they're caught in a trap like this they've been known to chew their own limbs off to escape.
(no flash photos please- it frightens them.)
Just a baby this time.
We'll carefully capture him, tag him, and set him free back into the wild.
The fully-grown ones are the ones you need to be scared of. They've been known to take a man's hand off in one bite.
We here at the Higher Achieving Institute for Recapturing and Bilingually Assessing Long Locks do our jobs with the integrity, dedication and strong stomach that the work demands.
As long as HAIRBALL is around, we will continue searching for ways to allow man and drain monsters to peacefully coexist.
This has been another production from the Eeeew Broadcasting Department.
Stay tuned for "When toenail clippings attack!" followed by "Smelly bellybuttons- the hidden epidemic".
Oh gronk! That is nasty. I am afraid of what is down my drain in this apartment...while it is draining quite nicely now, I know that I will have to go hairball hunting in the near future. And his hair is mixed with our hair. There's a hair-hybrid festering and growing into a mass under the bathroom floorboards as I type. Eww. I wonder if Edgar Allen Poe's editor made him change his soon to be famous Telltale Hairball to Telltale Heart so as to spare the multitudes of frail women who would faint and hurt themselves if the original title was kept.
Seriously? You are so freakin' funny! Can you spare some witty for me? Pass it around, girl!
I frequently hunt the monsters in my house, too. Or, rather, The Man does. I have him slightly convinced that it's mostly his hair. (We have the same color hair, he fears his is going away, I fear unclogging nasty drains - it works.)
Although, I've had my strays show up in weirder places, lemme tell ya.
One day I will learn to listen to you when you tell me not to read something.
That's some funny stuff. I was just thinking about having to do this soon. Shudder. I never knew the hairy drain monsters existed until I owned a home. My father had to teach me the fine art of the hunt. I tried to convince him that it was too dangerous a job for me, but he insisted I learn. Damn.
Duuuuude. I read your blog ON MY LUNCH HOUR!
That monster dwells in our home as well. Hubby threatened to ban me from combing my hair within 100 yards of the bathroom sink after removing a 1:100 scale version of me from the drain.
The hair in the underwear drives me crazy. And I can't go a single day without finding one intertwined in my bra strap. I've tried blow-drying while fully clothed, blow-drying in the nude and then trying to remove said hairs before getting dressed: it doesn't matter. They find their way somehow.
Lucky for me, my husband is a hairy beast and he's usually so guilt ridden about the drain that he cleans it himself. Hee.
I had to evict the monster from my drain recently, too. Mine was MUCH, much bigger than that. Very scary. (Very gross.)
Also, I have never had an issue with hair getting trapped in my underwear, but I do routinely find myself rooting around in my shirt for a stray hair that's driving me insane. I'm all about class and decorum, obviously.
I can't even respond. it's so ... phallic.
My long black hairs do the same thing. My SILs like to point this out to me all the time because they're blond and we can't see theirs.
Ugh....LL cleans ours even though it's all my hair. We made a deal a long time ago about the drain and it's working out just fine. He even handmade his very own special tool.
I get the stray hair that constantly tickles the back of my arm. I know that it's a strand of hair but I always worry there is a slight possibility that it's a spider or some creepy insect so I spend my days constantly swatting at the back of my arms. And I have found them on the inside of my woolie socks. The fluckers cut me once as I was putting my foot in.
Honestly, WM, are you off your meds again?
we pulled something similar, but out of the sink. how the hell that much hair got in the bathroom sink is beyond me. GROSS!
I am very familiar with this creature. I find the best way to keep it at bay is the powdered style draino that comes in the little pods. They're hard to find, but man o man do they do the trick!
i'm thinking you really don't want to see my hairballs (plural) in my shower.
i'm waiting for my husband to dispose of them properly. i figure it is a fair trade, he cleans my hairballs and i clean his underwear.
Damn, that's the motherload right there. Too funny.
Oh yeah, I've got one of those incubating as well. On the plus side, my feet get a nice, moisturizing soak every time I take a shower.
Blergh. That's what husbands/boyfriends are for: long hair removal.
uhm, nice photo. gag me (with a spoon).
i was just reminiscing about the hairball college days with 6 girls in a house. we were not as brave: called a plumber and charged it to our landlord :)
This is so, so messed up.
When you have hair down to your butt, not only does it get in your underwear, somehow it always ends up in your boyfriend's underwear too. Plus, on your friends clothes, which can lead to some interesting questions ;)
My brother has a name for that:
Okay, ew. Although, sadly, that is spotless compared to the last time I cleaned my drain thingie. I don't ever think to clean it until it is too late.
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