Thursday, July 30, 2009

Similar to a weekend spent on the French Riviera, minus the "French" and "Riviera" parts, but with the bonus of dog vomit and beer in a can.

A brief update on all things Whiskeymarie, in bullet points so you don't get confused like you did last time and end up lost on the side of the freeway wearing nothing but a stained snowsuit and high heels again:
  • I was in Duluth this weekend, and Friday night I had another fun, blurry, intentional meet-up with Christa and the lovely JCrew again. We have all agreed that next time we meet, we will behave like sensible adults and have a refined tea party with biscuits and such while discussing bustles and parasols instead of swimming the sea of beer and circus folk that is RT Quinlan's bar:

  • Saturday I spent about 14 hours at my in-laws while the Mr. and his brother installed a fancy new TeeVee and some Netflix thingy. I had exactly nothing to do but sit, stare at Bubs, and make periodic tours through the kitchen to grab something cheesy or crackery. In my boredom I may or may not have stared at my toes for too long and wished that I had a hyperactive, one-armed monkey to pass the time with.
  • Saturday night, the Mr, my girl Waffle and I went out to dinner at a Chinese-ish restaurant in a Bowling alley. Yup- you read that right. When you dine with WM it's class all the way, baby. It was actually really good, despite the lack of little details like a glass or straw for Waffle's can of coke or a non-plastic cup for the Mr's cocktail. After dinner, Waffle wanted to check out the band that was playing outside of the bowling alley. Being that I was still marginally hungover and not giving a shit what we did, we ventured outside. I comissioned the world-renowned artist Pickles St. Bumhummer to do a rendering of the lead singer of the "band" (whose repertoire consisted of things like Bryan Adams, Van Morrison, and Poison covers). Imagine the rest of the "band" in similar attire and I think you get the drift of things:

  • One can of light beer later, Waffle answered all of my prayers and suggested we go back to her house, put our jammies on and watch bad TV. Amen. So we sat in front of the mammoth boob tube, me drinking red wine, her- beer, the Mr.-Jameson, and watched "Chappelle Show" reruns and "Man vs. Food" in Minneapolis.
  • Sunday AM we loaded up the car, grabbed a couple of bagel-egg sandwhiches and hit the road home with our drooling, puking nugget of fun that we like to call Bubs.
  • The rest, in no particular order: Making currant jelly, making multi-layered jello, canning jalapenos, getting lost in St. Paul on my bike, sweating, feeding my ebay obsession, forgetting to wash my hair, making "hair hats" with said dirty hair, laundry, picking pet hair out of my teeth, seeing what those no-good neighborhood hudlums are up to again, putting off projects and constructing dioramas depicting embarrassing moments from my childhood out of garbage.
Happy Thursday, my beer-soaked nuggets of pukey, jalapeno-y goodness. Happy Thursday.

XO

26 comments:

SkylersDad said...

I thank you for the bullet points as I tend to... Hey! What's that over there?!

Son of a Thomas said...

Cool and thanks. I didn't realize it was Thursday. Duh.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Oh how you do live on the edge.

180|360 said...

wow! sounds just like a weekend in europe... ;)

McGone said...

and end up lost on the side of the freeway wearing nothing but a stained snowsuit and high heels again

Shows how much you know... I was not lost.

Jon said...

Did McGone draw that for you? I'd recognize his work anywhere..

Also, "wispy mullet remnants" is an awesome name for a band.

Imnotbenny said...

Bowling for egg rolls and questionable service doesn't sound too bad- annnd you you had something to laugh at while digesting- I believe this is called "one sweet night out" in my world.

I'm going to go throw out my BAD ASS t-shirt now.

Gorilla Bananas said...

I like a woman who leads a full life. Be careful of Chinese-ish restaurants, though, they might be feeding you dog meat.

Anonymous said...

Please write a book about all of your silly shenanigans. You are a fantastic creative comedic writer. Much funnier than Erma Bombeck or that chick who wrote "Candy Girl" and then later that movie "Juno". You're the best thing since sliced cheese!!
~ Renata1967

Unindicted Co-Conspirator said...

Just like I did with the lyrics to Every Breath You Take when I was 12, I feel that this post perfectly describes the perfect life I strive to attain. You totally get it! Wait, what?

Chelsea Talks Smack said...

chinese restauraunt plus bowling alley??? awesome.

kirby said...

I live a nun's life compared to you.

Whiskeymarie said...

Skydad- I know how you feel, I tot...(runs off after a squirrel)

SonofT- I like to think that, if nothing else, I keep people in touch with what day of the week it is.

Monkey- Yup. I'm a rebel, a loner.

180/360- If by "Europe" you mean "some of the scarier parts of Arkansas" then, yes- yes it does.

McGone- Liar- I saw the map in your hands when I drove by laughing and throwing garbage at you.

Jon- Yes, McGone DID draw that for me. Looks like he's drinking again- how sad.

benny- Sadly, that is "one sweet night out" in my world as well. Maybe you could give the t-shirt to Whoop?

GBananas- If it was dog, it was the most tasty, succulent dog I've ever had. (Sorry Bubs! Joking!)

Renata- You're too kind. No, really. You are. But I'm happy to entertain, my dear. Maybe someday when I actually put my free time to good use, rather than sending half my day internet shopping I'll make this happen.

Unindicted- I love when I meet someone who shares my lowered expectations. Maybe Renata's right- I SHOULD write a book: "Livin' large the Whiskeymarie way in 147 easy steps. *Whiskey, muscle relaxers, pets, Doritos and pants not included"

Chelsea- Oddly enough, in a goofy northern MN way, it was kind of awesome.

Kirby- I don't know if that's more sad for you or for me...

LittlePea said...

I love Chapelle Show. That's all I can say.

Suze said...

I too make "hair hats". The only thing that would've made the weekend perfect? Drunk eyebrown/facial hair plucking. I've ended up with more scars that way. Oh never mind. Go away!

Gwen said...

Hey! I dated that guy!

In eighth grade.

Kate said...

Why are we never in Duluth on the same weekends? Argh. The last time I went to Duluth, I was back at the hotel at midnight, sober. Damn.

Savitra said...

I'm impressed, bowling alley food. I thought that disappeared with '57 Chevys. As if I know about 1957.

diatribes and dish said...

I have no idea where the bowling alley/chinese restaurant is. Do tell!

Luisa Perkins said...

Hey, I just made currant jelly! Awesome.

John said...

Did the band do Achey Breakey Heart? If they didn't do Achey Breakey, you got gyped.

Whiskeymarie said...

Lil' Pea- Every time I watch it, I yell at the TV "Make more seasons of this, Dave! Please!!".

Suze- Last time I drunk plucked, I ended up with a bald spot on one of my eyebrows. Classy.

Gwen- Oh yeah? Well, I dated him AND made out with him behind the Dairy Queen. And I totally let him touch my boobies (over the bra, not under).

Wmama- I'll give you a heads-up next time I go up and will be meeting up with LeGirls.

Bill S- It must be a MN thing, because most of the bowling alleys here have food of some sort.

D&d- The "Other Place" up on Arnold Road in Woodland. It was a little surreal, but the food was actually pretty good.

Luisa- Yay! A fellow currant-lover! I'm always surprised by how many people don't even know what they are, let alone what to do with them.

John- If they did, I was lucky enough to have left the premises before it started. Bad Loverboy covers were bad enough, thank you very much.
;)

WendyB said...

Hairhats are going to be the next big fashion trend.

My word verification is "rejoke." No joke!

T.J. said...

This is effed up. I've tried like 3 times to comment and get screwed every time.

I shot you an email about bowls, but haven't heard back from you.....

Buenos con queso.

Anonymous said...

Three blogs you will probably enjoy:

http://figslavendercheese.blogspot.com/

http://maddox.xmission.com/

http://girlsareprettyforever.blogspot.com/

Sorry, you'll have to copy and paste these links into your browser because I am inept!!

~ Renata1967

ps said...

ooh. whiskeymarie AND blahblahblahler? i am envious and smell trouble!