Friday, October 24, 2008

The one where my life becomes a deleted scene from a mediocre romantic comedy.

So, I'm walking along, going to work. It's a beautiful, crisp fall day. I'm carrying an umbrella in one hand because it's been sprinkling on and off all morning. I walk by a fenced in yard, where two adorable puppies are playing with two adorable young children in flannel jammies (the boy in blue, the girl in pink- no lie).
The little black and white puppy scampers up to the fence where I am and looks up at me with a look of anticipation (Or constipation, whatever. WORK with me here, folks!). The little boy says, "He thinks your umbrella is a stick- he wants you to throw it. Here- take this stick and throw it so he can fetch"
They're both so cute I can't help myself. I toss the stick, the puppy scampers off to fetch it.

I smile at the little boy and continue on my way, smiling, warm and fuzzy. "Isn't life awesome?", I think to myself. "Isn't today the best day ever?"


No more than 30 seconds later I was crossing the street in front of some dude in a big white pickup. I "miscalculated" the curb (busy thinking about unicorns and rainbows) and took a flailing header directly in front of his truck. When I get up, he's laughing. I can't blame him- I would be laughing too.

Thank you, Universe. You hand me a double-decker ice cream cone and then promptly shove my face in it and kick me in the crotch, just for good measure.


Happy Friday, my scampering, fuzzy little puppies. Happy Friday.



Mojito said...

Story of my life... ;)

Dr Zibbs said...

hahaha. Sorry. When someone falls. I always have to laugh.

Poobomber said...

I hope you turned right around and threw the children into the street for the dog to fetch?

Take that, universe!

Mommy Lisa said...

Oh that is TERRIBLE. I would have jumped out and made sure you were okay - but then I am a totally freak in this universe sometimes. It is the mommy in me.

Have a great weekends, stay warm and out of the damn wind coming Sunday.


John said...

[Eric Cartman with eyes turned Heavenward]

Well, got me again God. Yeah, that was a good one.

Whiskeynarie still had to look totally badass, even when ass over tea kettle. Happy Friday. : )

ETA - OMG! My comment captcha is "entrail" - tell me you didn't leave ENTRAILS, Whiskey! Please! PLEASE! TELL ME!!!!!!

Jess Wundrun said...

Whiskey, I am supposed to be in Kohler, Wis. right now rubbing elbows with Hung and Ilan from Top Chef and drinking FREE wine and eating tasty little chef-prepared food morsels, but I am at home all alone spreading my pinkeye virus around on my keyboard.

God got a couple a' good crotch kickin's in today.

(If I knew your phone number I'd have called you to see if you wanted to go in my place. Ben, I'm sure, would have been thrilled).

wafelenbak said...

Oh NO!
I was hoping the puppy would swoop you out of the way all hero-like. Rats. :p

Winter said...

And a very happy Friday to you.

McGone said...

And if this was in the trailer of your imagined mediocre romantic comedy, Katrina and the Waves' "Walking on Sunshine" would be playing in the background only to be cut off abruptly by a needle scratching across a record when you fell. Classic.

Gwen said...

Thank you. I needed a good laugh.

Chiada said...

Hey, I'm in the I fell down club, too. Yesterday I had just finished having lunch out with one of my best friends, and as I'm walking in the parking lot towards my car, my heel sticks into a crack in the pavement and I went flying down onto my hands and needs. Astonishingly I barely scratched my knees, I didn't spill my To Go box, and nobody saw me fall. I was still mortified, though. My first thought was that I might have flashed my undies when I went flying since I was wearing a skirt. The horrors! Someone might have seen my undies! Thankfully, not. The bummer part to this is that I scuffed my shoes (one of my favorite pairs) and I scratched my sunglasses. Darn it all!

Fran said...

Now that is just wrong. I only laughed a little myself.

The reality is that sometimes cute puppies are like the 7th sign.

Lollie said...

At least you didn't get run over - now THAT would suck. Moreover, at least you didn't get run over while the guy in the truck was laughing. See? It wasn't that bad a day after all...

Fancy Schmancy said...

Isn't it a rule that someone always has to be watching when you do something embarrassing?

Thanks for the postcard, love it!

Muffy Willowbrook said...


Distributorcap said...

dontcha wish every day could be puppies and kids and laughs

boy i sound like a poem or something

my word verification


Trukindog said...

Still ya gotta love them bad he wasn't UNDERDOG he woulda saved ya from that nasty flailing header.

pistols at dawn said...

Face-shoving and crotch-kicking go together like macaroni and cheese.

Landis said...

did you cut him?

or at least slash his tires with your nail file?

i think he asked for it.