Monday, May 24, 2010
Whiskeymarie v. the Internets- kind of like Alien v. Predator, but with more gore.
Not so much fun as I thought it would be.
It started out simple enough- I was checking my sitemeter for the first time in a looooong time, and I started seeing some strange links appear- links that started giving me the sneaking suspicion that something was amiss with my beloved baby, whiskeymarie.com. (Not the usual weirdness that you'd expect, like people googling "monkey scat play" or "pudding underpants" and ending up here, though there was plenty of that as well. Thankfully some things will never change.)
I clicked on one suspicious item to find an auction site, RUN BY MY DOMAIN HOST, where my beloved domain was on the block, for sale to the highest bidder. The bidding was up to $405, and much to my delight, I saw that the auction ended in less than two days from that point.
The best way I can sum up the situation and my feelings from that point on is this:
I spent about 52 hours on the phone and online from then on, hysterically trying to convey my problem to various tech people in that high-pitched way that highly-strung women with aggression issues will tend to convey these sorts of things. I feel especially bad for the genuinely nice guy who had to listen to my "THIS IS BULLSHIT" speech. More than once. In the same phone call. I'm pretty sure there is a picture of me somewhere at the GoDa**y headquarters right now with numerous darts in it. What can I say- I don't handle this sort of stuff very well, I guess.
The worst part was the lag time between my questions/issues and the responses. Some e-mails (all phone calls were followed-up with e-mails) were returned with the hour, some took 48+ hours to get any sort of response. Couple that with my frustration in trying to find information that I never really thought would be so damn critical so I of course filed it away somewhere under "you'll never find this again, you dumb twat" and had to try and search out the information online, armed with nothing but a bucket of possible passwords and a few glasses of cheap white wine.
And then, to top it all off, once the auction deadline came and went, I still had no idea the fate of my little home here. No e-mails. Nada. Nope. It wasn't until the following Tuesday (this all started on Thursday) that I finally learned that I was indeed still the headmistress of this little corner of my world. I would not be sold off to that erotic lunchbox company in South Korea. Yay?
Unfortunately, in that "gray area" of time, I had to make a few decisions, the most critical one being what to do with my content so that it didn't end up in the hands of black-market blog peddlers. It felt strange, but once I imported the info over to my new domain, I click-click-clicked a few times and poof!
Deleted everything. Bye bye.
It was strangely refreshing.
I also stupidly assumed that I could export it all back over once the dust settled, if need be. Man, was I wrong. So, until Blogger fixes a "known issue" that has been "known" since December of last year, you'll need to go to the new blog for my archives. Such is life. Let's just consider it a fresh start, of sorts. Kind of like putting on clean underpants midway through a 95 degree day- you know they're gonna eventually stink as much as the last pair, but for a few brief, shining moments you can enjoy feeling and smelling somewhat fresh.
So, yeah. Six days, $200+, fourteen bottles of wine and several less years of my life later, I can say that I fought the man and I won. Sort of.
I'm glad to still be here, my little chickadees. Once I figure out my redecorating plans here, I'll get links back up and such and such. I've been a bit m.i.a. lately, mostly due to the fact that, after spending 2-3 hours trying to retrieve my old posts every stinking day with zero success, I had no patience or energy for much else, online-wise. Now that I've given up trying I can re-focus my energies.
That's my new motto, I think: When all else fails, give it the fuck up already, will you?