Monday, May 24, 2010

Whiskeymarie v. the Internets- kind of like Alien v. Predator, but with more gore.

So...yeah.  That whole "losing my blog" thingy?

Not so much fun as I thought it would be.

It started out simple enough- I was checking my sitemeter for the first time in a looooong time, and I started seeing some strange links appear- links that started giving me the sneaking suspicion that something was amiss with my beloved baby,  (Not the usual weirdness that you'd expect, like people googling "monkey scat play" or "pudding underpants" and ending up here, though there was plenty of that as well.  Thankfully some things will never change.)

I clicked on one suspicious item to find an auction site, RUN BY MY DOMAIN HOST, where my beloved domain was on the block, for sale to the highest bidder.  The bidding was up to $405, and much to my delight, I saw that the auction ended in less than two days from that point.

The best way I can sum up the situation and my feelings from that point on is this:

I spent about 52 hours on the phone and online from then on, hysterically trying to convey my problem to various tech people in that high-pitched way that highly-strung women with aggression issues will tend to convey these sorts of things.  I feel especially bad for the genuinely nice guy who had to listen to my "THIS IS BULLSHIT" speech.  More than once.  In the same phone call.  I'm pretty sure there is a picture of me somewhere at the GoDa**y headquarters right now with numerous darts in it.   What can I say- I don't handle this sort of stuff very well, I guess.

The worst part was the lag time between my questions/issues and the responses.  Some e-mails (all phone calls were followed-up with e-mails) were returned with the hour, some took 48+ hours to get any sort of response.  Couple that with my frustration in trying to find information that I never really thought would be so damn critical so I of course filed it away somewhere under "you'll never find this again, you dumb twat" and had to try and search out the information online, armed with nothing but a bucket of possible passwords and a few glasses of cheap white wine.

And then, to top it all off, once the auction deadline came and went, I still had no idea the fate of  my little home here.  No e-mails.  Nada.  Nope.  It wasn't until the following Tuesday (this all started on Thursday) that I finally learned that I was indeed still the headmistress of this little corner of my world.  I would not be sold off to that erotic lunchbox company in South Korea.  Yay?

Unfortunately, in that "gray area" of time, I had to make a few decisions, the most critical one being what to do with my content so that it didn't end up in the hands of black-market blog peddlers.  It felt strange, but once I imported the info over to my new domain, I click-click-clicked a few times and poof!
Deleted everything. Bye bye.

It was strangely refreshing. 

I also stupidly assumed that I could export it all back over once the dust settled, if need be.  Man, was I wrong.  So, until Blogger fixes a "known issue" that has been "known" since December of last year, you'll need to go to the new blog for my archives.  Such is life.  Let's just consider it a fresh start, of sorts.  Kind of like putting on clean underpants midway through a 95 degree day- you know they're gonna eventually stink as much as the last pair, but for a few brief, shining moments you can enjoy feeling and smelling somewhat fresh.

So, yeah.  Six days, $200+, fourteen bottles of wine and several less years of my life later, I can say that I fought the man and I won.  Sort of.

I'm glad to still be here, my little chickadees.  Once I figure out my redecorating plans here, I'll get links back up and such and such.  I've been a bit m.i.a. lately, mostly due to the fact that, after spending 2-3 hours trying to retrieve my old posts every stinking day with zero success, I had no patience or energy for much else, online-wise.  Now that I've given up trying I can re-focus my energies.

That's my new motto, I think: When all else fails, give it the fuck up already, will you?

Amen.  A-fuckingmen.


WendyB said...

"you'll never find this again, you dumb twat" -- I have put SO much stuff in that folder...I think I have more stuff IN there than outside there. Basically I have lost most of my life.

I misread "bucket of possible passwords and a few glasses of cheap white wine" as "bucket of white wine" at first and was like "GREAT IDEA!"

Even though that's not what you wrote, I still think a bucket of wine is a great idea.

Gwen said...

I'd like to see your new motto be: "When all else fails, go to St. Louis."

FOUR DAYS, MONKEYFACE! I'm going to wait until you get here to change my 95-degree smelly underpants.

John D. said...

You're my heroin. No wait, heroine. No wait, the first one.

Pea said...


As long as you don't go away for good though. It just wouldn't do.

Cathy said...

I only started following you a few weeks ago, around your birthday, and then all this crazy shit started happening...and now I can officially say this is the best roller coaster blog I've ever been on. And so far I haven't barfed, so that's good.

SkylersDad said...

I would follow you to whatever blog name you choose, Monkey scat play or whatever...

wait a minute, I might actually follow you more with that name.

But really, glad you fought and won.

Charm City Barfly said...

That's fucking insane. I don't know if I would have gone through the trouble but I'm really glad I do not deal with Go Daddy right now. And your experience kind of makes me want to never deal with them. I would have personally flown to their headquarters and punched someone in the taint. But that's just me.

Stacey said...

How you didn't head straight to the Schmo Faddy headquarters and cutabitch I'll never know.

If it counts for anything i don't do some changes well and that whole new WM blog thing was making me break out in hives.

Brooke said...

sounds like a great way to spend your vacation!

Mariposa said...

I may sound off, but unless the domain you have had expired, no one can take it away from you. With that said, some people can bid for a domain, most especially if it is about to expire and they will just contact you to see if you are willing to give it up, and you can say no. glad you made it through! ;)

Red said...

I'm sorry the man put you through all that, but very glad to still have you around.

Jodi Quinn said...

Couldn't you keep using the mariex3 site, and point your whiskeymarie name to go over there? I'm sure I'm not explaining this in the correct wordiage, but you get my drift, right?

Then everything would be in one place?

Eh, maybe I don't know what I'm talking about...

Glori B. said...

Not so fresh, indeed. I dare you.

Elizabeth said...

What a frigging nightmare. Everybody I know hates GoDuddy. Everybody.

Did I say "everybody?"

I'm sorry all this happened, but what's really good is that you are in charge of you.

(Thanks for your comment about the cowboy-boot-shoes . . . they're everywhere again. Just dig yours back out of the closet——you know they're still back there, underneath that pile of mock-turtlenecks——and start wearing them, and you'll be right on trend.)


MommyLisa said...

I hope to see you Saturday! :) Glad you got to keep the domain.

Glennis said...

What, what what??? Are you still here?????

Ricky Shambles said...

Good lord it's good to see you're still around.

Not that this helps now, but I make the real bucks creating websites and managing content and dealing with domain names and social media.

If you - or anyone who reads this - ever has a question about things web or internet related, my email's in my profile on my blog. Cheers!

"fucts" hehe

cribs said...

No wait, the first one!