Tuesday, July 14, 2009

A rare but genuine and heartfelt apology to my wife.


Dear Gwen:
I'm sorry I told everybody that you eat babies. It was a bold-faced lie meant to besmirch your good name. Plus it's totally ridiculous- I mean, it's not like there is a baby farm somewhere, letting babies graze freely and plumping them up for the day that Gwen could eat them up, nom nom nom. Please don't divorce me, Sugartits. If you can see it in your heart to take me back, I totally won't start rumors about you for at least a week. I love you, baby.

On a side note- did that rash ever clear up?

XOXO
-Whiskey

14 comments:

Imnotbenny said...

I'm not certain, but I think that baby might be all weepy and leaky because Gwen is standing over it with a knife and fork.

I'm not being judgmental, though. Hell, maybe babies are delicious.

You know, in some places in the world, I'm pretty sure it's rude to NOT eat babies.

Gwen said...

I have tears rolling down my face from laughing at you - and the picture of that juicy baby!

Damnit. I did it again, didn't I? I meant to say cute, not juicy. Yeah, that's totally what I meant. Cute.

Although I find it curious that you chose a picture of an Asian baby. Are you trying to tell me something? Don't make me send a SWAT team to sweep your basement. I don't want to have to hurt you, baby, but I will if you need it.

Gwen said...

Oh! And the rash wasn't really a rash. It was a burn I got from the over when I was roasting a . . . ummmmm . . . a duck. I was roasting a duck. A young, supple, juicy duck.

But it's fine now. I used vitamin E so I don't think there will be a scar. Thanks for asking, Candy-Apple Buns.

Renaissance Woman said...

LOL...that picture alone made the post.

TheHermanator said...

Yuk, what an Un-Appetizing baby !
That,s enough to take away the craving, even if I hadn't already quit munchin' munchkins ! LoL

Sundar said...

TheHermanator - Just add some soy sauce and it'll all be fine. If not, don't worry, you'll be hungry soon. LOL...

TheHermanator said...

Good One Sundar ! LoL!!
WM > Forgot to say I Love Your new Header/Banner/whatever, Very Cool !

SkylersDad said...

Hmmm, I don't understand. Doesn't everybody have a baby farm nearby?

Cora said...

BWAHAHA!!

So, just out of curiosity, where is the rash?

It's not a booby rash, right?

RIGHT?!

I... uhh... honked Gwen's boobs at a party, you see. And then I honked Scope's-- well... never mind....

Crap.

I'll go make a doctor's appointment and give Scope THE call.

dguzman said...

I like my babies a little chubbier.

Fancy Schmancy said...

I'm so glad this lover's spat is over. Now I no longer have to worry about testifying in the custody hearing. You can both still have me!

Keith said...

Eating babies, a possibly out of control rash, peeping in neighbor's windows at specified hours and a couple of mentions of pubic hairs ... how long have you officially been on work release?

Nomad said...

wow that mucus/bugar bubble is sooo... poignant -- that wins the most memorable pic of the week award from me

Freida Bee, MD said...

can't.stand.looking.at.that.baby.need. to.wipe.its.nose!