Thursday, July 2, 2009

The one where you debate staging a poignant, yet hilarious, intervention.

So, yeah.
I went to my 20-year reunion this past weekend, held at a distinguished and exclusive venue located in the pristine northwoods. Le Casa de Buffalo is a rustic, yet highly sophisticated tavern of sorts, complete with its own campground and semi-residential RV park. Many a night has occured when a retardedly drunk patron only has to stumble home 50 feet or so to their pop-up camper, where they have been living since the bitch wife got the house. Good times.
The lite beer flows freely from the freshly tapped kegs, and the giant fiberglass buffalo at the entrance lets you know that you're in the right place.

Waffle and I arrived fashionably late (6:45, it started at 6), to be greeted by a smorgasboard of our former students. We sat down with one guy that we adore who didn't actually graduate with our class as his family moved somewhere around 9th or 10th grade, but he was a good friend of our little misfit clan and we were dying to see him. This is also when the first drinks of the evening were consumed, followed by the second round about 8 minutes later. And so on...

(Me and Waffle, about 5 hours in.)

I have to say most everyone looked really, really good. As in, "How the fuck are we 38?? We look 28-32 TOPS. Right?? RIGHT??"
A few divorces here & there, lots of kids of all ages, and a few impending grandkids. Some of the girls were downright hot, and a few of the guys got much better looking with time. Everyone was nice to one another, and most everyone proceeded to drink themselves silly- literally and figuratively. There was a lot of hugging and smiling going on- pretty much 80% of my pictures were people in the same pose, as demonstrated here by myself and one of the guys from our class. I just hope the small-town folk are ready for interracial love such as ours:

(God, I'm pale.)

I feel very lucky (now) to have gone to such a small high school. At the time, I yearned to live somewhere that students didn't see driving a tractor to school as an option, and where the nightlife consisted of more than sitting in either mine or Waffle's bedrooms with music cranked and a half-empty bottle of Dr. Pepper getting passed between us while we called boys and munched on Doritos.
Now I see what a great thing that was- we all know each other, and we genuinely care about what is going on in everyone's life. It was really, really fun. And yes, there are a few VERY debaucherous things that happened. And no, for once they didn't directly involve me. But alas, to preserve the dignity of the individuals in question (or, more accurately, to not further sully it), I have to keep my lips sealed. I will give you three words: makeout, underpants, and boobies. Use your imagination, monkeys.

Sunday night I had the honor and the privelege to meet one of my all-time favorite blogger girls. Lollie has been in the picture from early on, when I was thrilled if I got 2 comments on a post. I love, love, love this woman and was really excited (and kind of nervous) to meet her & her Mr.

We met up at W.A. Frost's, here in St. Paul and sat on the amazing patio there. She also invited her friend Hulles, who lives in St. Paul and writes a not-often-enough-updated blog, among other fantastic things. I dragged the Mr. along, we sat, we drank, we talked, and we just had an awesome time in general. Lollie, her Mr. and Hulles were all funny, smart, easy to get along with, and people who "get it" in general. Lollie is gorgeous, totally tiny (even after having a cheeky little monkey boy less than 1 year ago) and her Mr. is a witty, handsome devil. Hulles was an unexpected delight and someone I hope we hang out with again and often- funniest guy I've met in a long time.

Oh, and did I mention that we drank a little?

Holy hell, after about 14 glasses of wine and then a trip across the street to the Russian place for vodka drinkies, it was all a little blurry. An exerpt from mine & Lollie's e-mail exchange the next day:

Lollie: "I felt like a dirty pirate hooker the next morning - I even barfed a couple of times. YEAH! SHE STILL HAS IT!! (Did you see my boobies at one point...?)" Me: "If I saw your boobies, I don't remember, but [Hulles] has pics from Moscow on the Hill that I think we should be scared of."

Good times. I love you, Lollie! You can totally show me your boobies anytime. I don't mind. How we didn't manage to get a picture of us together, only the booze knows why.

Beyond that, my last 5-6 days has consisted of the following:
  • Pet hair removal from the house (took ALL day Tuesday and now it's ALL back- ugh.)
  • BBQ-ing with friends
  • Reading my first 1/2 book in 8 months. I hope to finish in the next 8.
  • Staring at my toes and inventing fairy tales involving them. My favorite is "Goldietoes and the Festering Ingrowns."
  • Putting up roman shades in 2 rooms- one of those "easy" projects that had me yelling "motherfucker!" and "Jesus, shit!" every few seconds. Fun.
  • Minor gardening
  • Dog/cat intervention and mediation
  • Teaching said dog how to vomit into a plastic bag on car trips instead of my lap- yay, me!
  • Visiting the spankin' new Trader Joe's that is LESS THAN ONE MILE FROM MY HOUSE AND I CAN BIKE THERE, SUCKAS!!
  • Picking at scabs
  • Target, Menards, Kmart (don't ask), Vintage furniture shopping, Farmer's market, and internet shopping.
  • Applying for the corner hooker's position as Madge is retiring and I think we'll need the extra cash as we seem to be hemmoraging it lately. For my audition I demonstrated how I can say "butt job" in 14 different languages, thus demonstrating my versatility. I think I have a good chance of getting the position...
  • Cooking- this one was last night's dinner. Brown rice risotto (I left it kind of saucy on purpose) with bacon, corn & swiss chard, adobo-rubbed & roasted pork tenderloin, and pumpkinseed pesto. Yum:

So there you have it, drama, romance, intrigue and little or no talk of pet feces, for once.

Happy Thursday, my little dirty pirate hookers. Happy Thursday.



Anonymous said... first thought was 'what in the hell did WM do to her elbow??' I clicked on the picture and it was the guys bald head!! Looks like it's attached to your wrist. I need to get my eyes checked.

Glad you had a good time. I went to my 10th and had a rotten time. My class had a 1000 graduates and we didn't have that close feeling. I've kept in touch with a couple of people but that's it.

Hope you have a great 4th of July!!

My Word Verification is cool or maybe I should say hot.


Gwen said...

Gah! When I read one of these it makes me miss you so much. You truly are my soul mate. The food, the shopping, the toe picking and animal feces - we've got it all, baby!

i am playing outside said...

im glad you had fun! still mad you didn't take me as your date though :(

Luisa Perkins said...

You looked gorgeous, and how nice that you were not the only one lookin' good. Because at my 20th? Oy, the obesity.

TJ's that close! Luckyyyyyyy! Mine is 45 minutes away.

Talk With No Thought said...

Ugh. Why didn't I go to my reunion? I'm laaaame.

SkylersDad said...

You gotta love a place that has "PLEASE" do not call the bar for Camping" featured prominently on it's website!

And I think we all know that Madge is past her prime, time to move on.

My graduating class was one of the largest at 69 kids, I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Bubs said...

I'm glad I wasn't the only one who worried about your elbow in that first pic. That Buffalo place looks like a perfect northwoods hoot. I think we bought a car not far from there one time.

TheHermanator said...

After reading what "Anonymous" said, I went and looked at the pic again ! LMFAO ! I does kinda look like you elbow is bruised and gnarly, but if that were the case, your upper arm would have to be about 4 feet long ? Too Funny !
I also forgot what I was gonna say,..but no biggy, I'm sure it wasn't so profound that we can't live without it. Sounds like a great reunion, and a hell of a party, That you can now repeat cuz' it's Independence Day Weekend !! Happy 4th Everyone !!!

Keith said...

As far as your dog vomiting ... my vet said that she had never seen plain ol' ginger snap cookies not work on a dog and it's ability to make a dog able to ride without puking.

The next time that I see her I have sad news for her ... my dogs haven't read the memo that says those cookies are supposed to work. They are still spraying our laps, seats, and pet porter.

You might want to give a couple to your dog however about 5-15 minutes before you leave and see if it helps in your case.

And if they don't work, you will have a whole bag to munch on whilst you clean your pet's puke out of your pants. The ginger smell kind of helps to disguise the funky aroma that you are dealing with.

Kim said...

My graduating class was 200, and I loved it too. I've kept in touch with many of them over the years and now thanks to the magic of Facebook, I am keeping in touch with all the others.
I'm glad you had a great weekend, though I sympathize with the animal fur. I'm not sure how something can regenerate so quickly, but it does. Losing battle.

John said...

Glad you had a good time, hon. My *30*-year is NEXT YEAR. Any reunion that starts with a 3...= SCARY. Any reunion that starts with a 2...not so much.

P.S. - I'll look at anybody's boobies, any time.

Lollie said...

I lurrrrrrved meeting you Whiskeymarie! And so did my boobies. That was a blast and must be Florida...just sayin'

My 1st husband's 20 year reunion was on our wedding night. We went. It was fun. His 30 year was a two days after we decided to get a divorce. We went. It was awkward.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I want to live at your house for the food. And your company (but mostly the food).

Haha - word verification = multifil. See? They want me to live with you and get stuffed too.

Fancy Schmancy said...

That's funny, I had to look at that picture a few times, too. Glad you had such a great time, I avoid reunions like the plague.

Now when are you going to start posting recipes for us to go along with your yummy pictures!

Butrfly Garden said...

Okay, I'm trying to get caught up on over a month's worth of posts...when the hell did you get a dog? :)

Glad to see you've been well - looks like you had a great time.

dguzman said...

Glad you had a good time. And wow on the little star points you made with the risotto juice!

Stacey said...

Ok, the reunion place has "meat raffles". I don't know but it was on their site and it just sounds kinda naughty.

If you and Lollie meet up in FLA...I must be there.

I need the pleasure of meeting her royal Lollieness too, mmkay?

Oh and seeing your sassyness again too.

I miss it. So get here. Soon.

3carnations said...

Wow...some people at your 20 year reunion had grandchildren pending? I suppose it works out potentially, when you do the math, but considering I'll be 38 in 3 years and my son will be 8 then...unlikely.

Sounds like you had a blast!

ps said...

omg. you are seriously one of the coolest broads i have never met. i adore you!! xoxo

Organic Meatbag said...

Ironically, if you were ever actually able to locate some Jesus shit, you would be a very rich lady, and you could afford to hire somebody to install roman blinds for you...

180|360 said...

I'm glad you had a great reunion. So you would've been a senior when I was a freshman... which means my 20 year will be here before I know it. YIKES.