Sunday, February 22, 2009

Waffle all you want, baby. Waffle away.


A brief weekend recap as I planned on having a relaxing day making out with my laptop (no tongue), but an office remodel going on elsewhere in my house for much of the day sent me back into 1998 when everyone was sad and poorly dressed because they couldn't read blogs and had no internet shopping.

In bullet form, because I know how much you hate it when I write my posts in grenade form:

  • Me & Blondie went to the MOA on Saturday, and it was PACKED. We had to park on the roof of the parking ramp, wade through snowbanks to get in (I clomped right through, up to my knees- I'm an idiot), and hurl ourselves into the undulating mass of sweaty mouth-breathers and screaming kids. We started keeping track, and had we been using bingo cards Miss Blondie would be going home with the $24.87 jackpot with her four corners of "dudes with wonky eyes". I would have the lowly second prize of a packet of tomato seeds from the dollar store as all I could have marked off my card was "crazy but sweet deaf-mute dude that I recognized from somewhere else but can't remember where" and "everyone in Arden B. is going to think I farted because that baby has a poopy diaper and I just walked into the stink". Still- it was fun, I scored some great deals, and we had sushi and booze and eventually forgot all about how much we hate children. Kidding! Really, though- I think Saturday rendered me sterile as we couldn't walk 10 feet without passing a screamer- whatever is left of my ovaries sent me a note informing me that they are switching careers and becoming bellybuttons. Whatever- three would be cute.
  • Later that evening, home and comfy with Sancerre sloshing around in my belly, I went upstairs and sat in front of the com-pu-tor. I paused, and then I said out loud to no one in particular, "no good can come of this" and turned it off. I think such a rare occurrence should be noted- Me: 1, Drunk blogging: 0
  • Me and the Mr. watched not just ONE, but TWO Infomercials for Time-Life music collections. These things are like deep-fried, crack-covered bacon & cheese nuggets to us- we won't ever actually buy "Romantic hits from the 70's", but for some reason we can't get enough of the commercials. Maybe it's Tony Orlando's mesmerizing mustache, maybe it's that every time that one Lobo song comes on we both go "Lobo!!". I don't get it either. If I had any pride or shame I wouldn't even mention that we had already seen one of them before, yet willingly sat through it again. Luckily, I have neither. Please send help.
  • Speaking of bacon, I had a bacon waffle for breakfast today at Jay's. Yes, oh sweet baby jeebus YES, it was as good as you think it would be. A not-too-sweet waffle with crisp bacon nestled inside with a dollop of barely sweetened whipped cream and just a drizzle of maple syrup. I've never come so close in my life to sexually assaulting a waffle.
  • Otherwise, in no particular order: cleaning, dusting, much sleeping, more wine, Pizza Luce, Weeds season 3, training for the kitty summer olympics, plucking stray hairs, going to Menards, playing dress-up, collecting cat dust bunnies, shoveling, mucho laundry, resisting the urge to pick at things on my face, a wee bit of cooking, talking to strangers and running with scissors.
Happy Sunday, my little bacon-waffle loving mall walkers. Happy Sunday.

XO

18 comments:

Dr Zibbs said...

Please tell me that one of the music infomercials was with the dude from REO Speedwagon.

I watch that one everytime because he looks like a grandma.

pistols at dawn said...

Bacon waffle? Jesus Christ, why is the East Coast falling desperately behind in the bacon wars? I'm going to have to move to the midwest just for the bacon-filled treats alone.

Failcooks said...

You are so cute that if you were any cuter you'd be six inches tall and covered in fur.

John said...

http://store.baconsalt.com/JampDs-Bacon-Flavored-Lip-Balm_p_40.html

http://www.jdfoods.net/products/baconnaise.php

And btw...you could have shopped online in 1998...Didn't even need to know Al Gore..

Kim said...

As you know I'm actively TRYING to get knocked up (and spending large amounts of cash doing so) yet all the screaming heathen babies down to the Walmarts Saturday literally stopped me in my tracks and say "What the hell am I doing?"
The Columbia, SC Walmart - Best birth control method since the advent of the Pill.

3carnations said...

Bacon waffle. I could make that at home...right? Or would it just be sad and disappointing?

Anonymous said...

Waffles and bacon. A couple of my favorite things! Never had them combined before. I guess I could make a bacon and Eggo sandwich.

Patti

nancypearlwannabe said...

Romantic Hits from the 70's is totally mesmerizing.

surviving myself said...

I didn't like bacon, even when I did eat meat years and years ago.

Do you still love me?

Gwen said...

Bullet number two makes me sad. So very, very sad.

feisty said...

i agree: children do not belong in public places at MOA, outside of the food court and the amusement rides.

Weeds is on Season 3? damn, i cannot keep up....

Aunt Snow said...

Mmmmmmmmm. Bacon waffles....cured pork AND syrup. Nectar of the gods!

mo.stoneskin said...

"I've never come so close in my life to sexually assaulting a waffle."

I think we're all grateful you stopped there...

WendyB said...

A bacon waffle -- I'm in love.

T.J. said...

I don't know if I'm more jealous of the sushi (which i havent gotten around to doing in ages or the bacon waffle.

Since we have a 'professional' waffle maker, I may just have to give that one a try.

Can you describe this waffle, si I can get a guess as to how they assembled it?

It's all about the bacon.....

Fancy Schmancy said...

I'm with Gwen: More drunken blogging, please - not less!

Grant Miller said...

Kitty summer olympiad? Where is it this year? Paws Angeles? Meowtreal?

LegalMist said...

Perhaps Gwen, Fancy, & I can start a chant:

More drunk blogging! More drunk blogging! More drunk blogging!

Although, if you were smart enough to stop, you can't have been all *that* drunk!