Lifestyles of the marginal and infamous.

I'm not sure what I'm doing different in my life that I seem to have no time whatsoever lately for this blog/reading blogs. Perhaps I could spend less time inspecting my face for imaginary zits, or If I cut back to one day a week instead of three for my doctor-prescribed uvula massage, or maybe if I spent less time dressing up the kitties and re-enacting great scenes from "Fantasy Island", maybe just maybe I might open up a few hours here and there.

I hate these random posts, but it's really the only safe and medically-approved way to convey the information to you today, trust me. My past week, in original bullet form because I know how the imitation bullet form gives you that rash on your...you know:

• I've had disturbingly vivid and realistic dreams this past week. In one, I got really drunk in front of this dorky guy that I went to high school with and then tried to make out with him, which he refused. I woke up panicked & embarrassed and worried about the impending reunion this summer.
• I fell on the ice once, and almost fell 3 other times. My butt hurt for three days, my pride hurt for 5. It's called salt, people. You live in MN- salt your fucking sidewalk, will you? Next time I slip on someone's skating rink of a sidewalk they're getting an angry note tied to a brick through the window.
  
• Operation Fix This Fucking House is up and running once again. This weekend we were unsuccessful in moving the longest couch ever upstairs into the Mr's newly painted and re-floored office. As I can no longer tolerate this couch sitting in my dining room, it now resides in the front porch with the rest of our orphaned furniture. It seems to be getting along with the old living room chair, but the vintage patio set is ignoring them- they're cliquey like that. The dining room is finally taking shape, and If all goes well (HAHAHAHAHA!), I should have "before and after" pics for you soon. My house is starting to look pretty awesome, if I do say so myself.
• I went here Friday to check in on some ice carving that was going on. I love that when they designed this hotel, they decided to embrace the winter rather than fight it, so they opened a courtyard "Ice Bar" where the bar itself, and much of the seating is carved from ice. There's a roaring fire pit, fabulous art, and ridiculously expensive martinis that make you feel much cooler than you actually are. The theme of the ice carving exhibition was "demented", and the projects ranged from daggers and skulls to a hippopotamus coming out of a toilet. Other than the fact that it was bone-chilling cold & windy, it was pretty cool to be out and about and seeing something interesting.
  
• That same night I had dinner with old Duluth friends here. The food was really good, the company was great, and I managed to make it through the evening without pissing anyone off or getting arrested for indecent exposure. We'll call this one a success.
• Yet another trip to IKEA, yet another $250 I'll never see again. Buuntengaargen, my ass.
  
• Work. Lots of work. Lots and lots of work.
  
• Not much cooking- last night we had the Mr's brother over for dinner. I made "fancy taco night" fare: homemade black beans, spicy chipotle shredded chicken, charred peppers and onions, fluffy guac and all the necessary accoutrements. We broke in my new bamboo dining room table and shiny white modern chairs and acted like civilized adults with cloth napkins and everything. Wine was consumed, our bellies were full. It was lovely.
  
• I accidentally ripped off 2/3 of one of my lesser toenails, yet oddly enough it didn't really hurt.
  

There you go. Now we're caught up and I can get back to "regular-type" posting. You know, things like "Ponderings on the life of a pubic crab" or, "I forgot I ate a pound of beets the day before, so I almost called the doctor" or, "Whiskeymarie's picks for the geriatric summer olympics!"

Lucky you.