Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Day two, not to be confused with #2


Quick update for day two of Operation De-Pollutination:
  • I'm reeeeeaaalllyyy tired and kind of a zombie- too bad human flesh is on the "do not eat" list right now. Dang.
  • Speaking of eating, I think I would eat rancid eggs covered in cat litter before I'd eat that broccoli soup again- ever. Luckily, tomorrow has a different menu.
  • This cleanse is making me painfully aware of all the grazing and mindless eating I do- some at home, but mostly at work. I had to stop myself about 45 times from just popping something in my pie-hole without thinking about it.
  • That said, I made it through the whole day today without deviating from the plan (aka cheating on my colon). No snacks, no sneaking a bite here or there. Trust me, no one is more surprised about this than me.
  • And no- for the first time in many, many years, I did not poop today. I'm worried that my body is saving it all up for some big, fireworks-esque display. I'm having a tablespoonful or so of olive oil tonight like Other Gwen recommended. This scares me very much- please add me to your prayers, chants, sacrifices or whatever the hell ritual you people do when you want something to happen/not happen. Pray for my safe journey to the other side of the bathroom...
  • That is all, I'm just so very tired right now............................................................Zzzzzz...

17 comments:

i am playing outside said...

oh dear. good luck with the pooping!

i graze at work. bacon and pralines. so good for me, i know. but then i follow it up with a piece of cucumber. which is bad since its just more food going in.

and the boy is a snack-buying enabler. he knows i can't resist anything remotely unhealthy. the bastard.

Anonymous said...

I will pray to any poop gods that may or may not exist - otherwise I guess it's hello oil of castor?! Good luck with all of that "business"!!
~ Renata1967

erin said...

I'd be surprised if I did poop everyday. Wow. I'm sharing way too much with you.
First I tell you my weight, now I'm explaining my bowel schedule.

I caught myself popping one of the kids cheese (and calorie) filled raviolis in my mouth last night. I was shocked that I did it without thinking. Insanity.

Jurgen Nation said...

You are a rockstar!! These cleanses are HARD. Which one are you doing? And you're right about the grazing. It really puts things into perspective. Keep it up!!! It only gets easier as all that shit (no pun intended) leaves your body. Keep us informed!! xo

SkylersDad said...

I would never cheat on your colon. Ever. That's just the kind of guy I am!

WendyB said...

Let me know when the fireworks go off so I can make sure I'm a few states away.

Unindicted Co-Conspirator said...

Thanks for the poop update.

180|360 said...

Go Whiskey! Hey can you drink while you are on this cleanse?

180|360 said...

Nevermind. I should've read your other post first. :D I guess it wouldn't be a cleanse if you can pollute with booze.

nancypearlwannabe said...

This cleanse sounds painful. I sure hope it works, for your sake!

Son of a Thomas said...

Good luck. I will think of you as my steak comes in off the grill and is placed gracefully next to the tortellni.

Wine anyone????

Red said...

My _ahem_ "schedule" is thrown off by my medical stuff. But prunes are vegan, aren't they? Work like a charm.

kirby said...

Well, zombies are counted among the unliving, so technically the vegans wouldn't have a beef with eating zombie flesh. Find one and chow down.

Stacey said...

As I sit here with my glass of vino listening to Martin Luther I'm all yeah...I should do a cleanse but self control is not really my middle name. I know I'm not really any help am I ? Leaving now.

BTW, Miralax will make you poop out your life story ...if it gets to that point. Believe me I've been dealing with poop issues since Jada was 3
Good luck, my love.

Kim said...

I hope by now the poop issue has resolved itself. Since my entire life has been one long poop issue (nice visual), I can second what WM up there said about the Miralax. I do believe after trying every single fiber-based product on the market, plus several things not on the market, that stuff may have saved my life on several occasions.
I hope the rest of the cleanse went well - can't wait to hear the results!

Gwen said...

Ever since I got back from Boise, I've been pooping for the both of us.

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