Monday, March 2, 2009

All lathered up, and I ain't talkin' bout no stinkin' shampoo.

So, I'm sick again. Regular flu this time, no barfy barf and such and such.

(shifts uncomfortably in her chair)

Um...

So...
Am I the only one, that when they get sick, their skin is more (ahem) "sensitive" than usual? And by "sensitive", I mean that something as simple as putting on my slippers or pulling on my stretchy jammie bottoms kind of makes me smile in that sly way that I do when I've had one glass too many and the muscle relaxers are kicking in right before I improperly assault the Mr. wearing nothing but tall boots, a crazy look on my face, and my underpants.

What I'm getting at, is- I feel all tingly and such, yet the very thought of another human being (of the Mr. variety) coming within 3 feet of me and accidentally breathing on me is about as appealing as running naked through the cafeteria at work at lunchtime.

This seems unfair. Kind of like having a bottle of my favorite wine and the perfect cheese and bread, but having to eat it off of a dirty trashcan lid and drink it out of a rusty cat food can all while sitting in a trailer behind the road kill pickup truck.

Dammit.

This pretty much sums up my state of mind right now:


Dogs Of Lust - The most amazing videos are a click away


If you're all horndogged up now, you're welcome. If not- what the hell is wrong with you? Go! Now! Get laid on my behalf, OK? If nothing else, have a "date" with yourself- buy yourself something ill-fitting but pretty, dim the flourescent lights, pop that pill, put on that copy of "Ernest Goes to camp" that gets you all worked up...
Treat yourself nice, sweetie. Just be sure to snuggle with you after. You know how you like that.

(ahem. Composes self)

Happy Monday evening, my little sexed up balls of achy and fevery raw frustration. Happy Monday.

XO

23 comments:

Savitra said...

Dere's always meds, legal or otherwise, and dancing in the dark.

Anonymous said...

When I was in high school and got a cold about twice a month, I experienced this a lot. Luckily, I do not have the immune system of an infant anymore and I can fight off the colds...but I'm still a horn dog :D

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

You are the queen of 'boss' banners. I bow down to you.

Anonymous said...

Love the new pic, very stylish.

ps said...

you look fabulous my dear! hope you feel better soon. xoxo

Kim said...

I don't think I get that tingle-skin you described when I'm sick, but I know exactly what you're talking about due to the fact that one night many years ago I decided it would be a fun idea to take a Viagra and see what happened. See, there's not a lot of pills I wouldn't try at least once, sometimes a lot more than once. But here's a tip: if you're a female, don't take Viagra. I know, right? Priceless. My skin was so sensitive and tingly (NOT in the good way) that if Brian brushed by me passing in the hall, I screamed in horror. He was not pleased when I told him what I'd done. It was like amphetamines without the fun parts.
I hope you're feeling better soon!

Gwen said...

This reminds me of the Friends episode where Monica is sick and horny and Chandler wants nothing to do with her until she tricks him into ribbing Vicks on her chest.

Love the new banner! You, my darling, are fabulous.

Jocelyn said...

Check and CHECK!

My husband says he loves you very much and hopes you're sick A LOT. I told him that was not nice but maybe we can refocus from Whiskey being sick to Whiskey saying "monkey" or "cheese" since you say that a lot. Or you know....he could be less "grunty" and "cavemany" about his needs. That'd work too.

Awesome new banner! I think I actually did the "straighten up and sit right" dance in my chair when I saw it.

BallerinaToes said...

I was certain I had the bird flu or SARS or something equally horrid last week and I get the same sensitive skin, weird all over and not in a good way feeling. Love your new masthead! Get well!

John said...

Sickness is a catalyst for horniness? ...hmpt. When I'm sick is about the only time I'm not horny.

I really know nothing about women. At all.

Son of a Thomas said...

My wife is the exact opposite. When she is sick, her skin gets more sensitive but not in a please touch me way. More of a come close and I'll cut them off way.

T.J. said...

Now I'm all hot and bothered. Trash can lids and cat food cans?

I'm yours.

T.

Dr Zibbs said...

I've been deathly ill with flu and I'll still ask my wife for some servicing.

With her doing all the work of course.

Landis said...

hey baby girl. ? for you. have you noticed many of our favorite blogger friends dropping off the face of the earth? and like, moving to iraq??

embee said...

SERIOUSLY???
I have to be in peek physical condition both physically and mentally before I'm ready to commit the dirty deed.
:-)

Giggle Pixie said...

Nope, just you.

Dammit.

surviving myself said...

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who considers Ernest porn.

Stacey said...

Not when I'm sick but holy hell when it's that time of the month I am the biggest horndog ever. Which sucks because...well you know. Oh the ways that life plays cruel tricks on me

Get better soon. Oh and then hop on a plane and come visit,K. Yes, random but truthfully - you know you wanna...

LittlePea said...

You're the only one in the world that can make me giggle like a 12 year old.

Fancy Schmancy said...

You look even more fantastic than usual... But that might be that tingly thing you were talkin' bout...

John said...

You still lathered up, Marcy Marie?

Well. Happy Weekend sweet thang! And I hope you feel better if that bug's not letting go.

Aunt Snow said...

My husband brought an expression into our family lexicon about the way it feels to be sick - his little brother coined the phrase.

Now in my family we all say, "My hair hurts," when we mean the icky, skin-chilly, achey way you feel when you have a cold or are getting sick.

But it doesn't involve being a horn-dog. Or maybe it does, I can't tell - my husband is always horny.

pistols at dawn said...

I always thought I looked like a cuddler.