Sunday, March 8, 2009

Hot girl-on-monkey action!

My weekend, in photo form because I know how too many words just confuse y'all.

I started off Saturday with a healthy breakfast: Plain Greek yogurt with blood oranges, a tangerine/grapefruit hybrid fruit (forget the name), and drizzled it all with honey. I also made a chickpea/tofu/spinach scramble, and toast. All of this fiber and the vitamins confused my colon a bit, considering the past two weeks we've spent together. We worked out a deal where I promised to never projectile expell food taken in, and he promised to get back on track with the whole "giving me ample warning" thing.
Win- win.

My snazzy new lambskin bag that I love so much I'm considering going to one of those "kid farms" to pick up a nice toddler to carry around in it. What? If Angelina can accessorize with babies, why can't I? I sure hope I can find one that matches- do they make babies in silver anymore?

You all know that IKEA boxes = kitty habitrail in my house. I went all out on this one- a roof, windows, and amply stocked with catnip. They love it.

Trubs is peeved. He needs "alone time" with the catnip and I keep bugging him. He's such a drug pig. Look at his eyes, duuuude.

Hey there Charm City Girl! I took monkey out for one final evening before I'm sending him back to you.
He's legal to drink, right? Cause, at last count he downed four of those puppies. But then he puked up two, so I guess that's o.k.

Oops- you weren't supposed to see this one.
I may or may not have violated Monkey in a number of unsavory ways last night. He didn't seem to mind, and the fifty he left on the nightstand before he left sure was a nice touch.
Hmmm...I probably should have used some sort of birth control.

Now I'm tired and need to spend some time catching up on bloggary and such since I seemed to fall off the planet this past week, what with my whooping cough, scabies, herniated ovaries and all.

Happy Sunday, my catnip martini-drinking little liquor monkeys. Happy Sunday.



Dr Zibbs said...

A little dolled up there WM. Very classy.

Some Guy said...

That cat is so freaking high!

Sorry about the scabies, by the way. That's gotta suck.

pistols at dawn said...

I've had monkey herpes before, and I can honestly say, they're far stronger than what you may be used to. I'm really debating whether to close by saying, "It sure is tough to get that monkey herpes off your sack," and I guess typing that shows I've made up my mind, though I'm none too pleased with it.

Gwen said...

Deer Miss Whiskiee:

Our ladee is out rite now with Sass and we fownd your url in her hissss-tery, along with "21 y/o azhians who like coogars." We don't no what than meens but we want two live wiff u insted cuz u maik gr8 cat howses. Kan we?

Max and Sky

Bubs said...

Do they make Visine for cats? He looked like he could use it.

Now I'm hungry for a healthy breakfast, thirsty for booze and vaguely aroused all at the same time. Sheesh.

Whiskeymarie said...

Zibbs- That's me- a klassy broad.

Some Guy- Trubs is about two nips away from an intervention.
And scabies ain't so bad- fun to scratch!

Pistols- I haven't had monkey herpes before, but I did have genital hookworms once- try getting those little buggers off of your sack! Not so easy, I tells ya.

WendyB- I ran all of the necessary tests (also known as: I wiped him down with a dry kleenex) so I'm sure I'll be fine. Wait- what's this rash...?

Max & Sky- Of COURSE you can live here- I knew it was only a matter of time before you would want to defect. Bring an extra litter box, clean jammies, a few bags of cat treats and a jingly toy or two and I'm sure you'll fit right in. Gwen won't even notice what with her new favorite monkey pets and all. (rubs hands together maniacally) My evil plan is working! WORKING!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!

Whiskeymarie said...

Bubs-'re welcome?

wafelenbak said...

Hope you're feeling better, Whiskey!
My kitties are so envious of the kitty habitrail. I think that means I need to order some furniture...

Stefanie said...

Hmm. I had cereal for breakfast this weekend, and bought a decidedly less fabulous bag... at Target. Perhaps you should mentor me?

Mariposa said...

I LOVE that breakfast! I'm're bad! LOL

Savitra said...

Accessorizing with babies is like dunking an electric radio while in a hot tub. Not recommended.

Lisa said...

The new header is fabulous. I'm glad to know that your time has been spent in wholesome activities.

T.J. said...

Your cat is effing wasted. Did you get/give him some Doritos, or are those for you alone?

He totally looks like he could use something to drink, too. I'll bet he's got drymouth from Hell.


bereccah said...

There's just nothing better than a kitty-cat burnout.

Don't accessorize with babies - the men with the badges don't approve of sending them to Good Will when you don't want them anymore!

Kim said...

The picture of high kitty made me very very happy. And vaguely wishful I still smoked weed.

Siana said...

That's my monkey! He loves his Cosmos and hitting some ass. That's just how he rolls! I can't wait to have him back.