I'm in! I'm on the jury!
As you can tell, I'm trying to get excited about being a juror on a criminal (!) trial, but honestly I was praying to Maurice Gibb that they wouldn't pick me.
"Dear Mr. Gibb- I've gotta get a message to you. I can't stand the jive talkin' anymore. Please get me out of jury duty so I can start mending my broken heart. Thank you, my benevolent and almighty Maurice."
I'm tired of sitting, doing nothing.
And I can't tell you anything about the case, which is killing me. Really, it's not that exciting, but my life is so boring right now that ANYTHING out of the monotony seems awesome. Christmas with the Osmonds awesome.
That's it for today.
Seriously. That's it.
I'll let you know how day 1 of the trial went tomorrow.
Well, as much as I CAN tell you, which isn't much. Maybe I'll take notes on what people wore.
Or what I ate for lunch.
Or who farted.
Whatever, I'm bored.
And, for the record, I've actually had time to be catching up on my blog-reading yesterday & today, but my fucked com-pu-tor won't let me comment. Let it be known that I was there in spirit and left you a lovely bundt cake.
I'm shaking my fist at YOU, Mr. Technology!
And, one of my fellow lady-jurors was in the bathroom stall today doing her bizness while the rest of us waited in line. She farted VERY loudly. Twice. All we heard after that was a surprised-sounding "Oh! MY!"
I decided to come back later. I'm already tired of other people's farts.
And, I purposely told the lawyers on the case today when they were still interviewing us that I was "a total control freak" and "I don't like working with other people" and "I like to do things my way. MY. WAY." and "I tend to overlook details in favor of the big picture" and I also referred to "bums" and "hobos" and they still chose me. Moral of the story is: honesty just gets you goddamn jury duty. Lie when you can, people. LIE. The truth is never a good idea.
Be afraid, people.