Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Sasquatch, miniature pigs and other oddities.

A random collection of photos from my last few days, lest you think that I only exist in computer form, much like Kitt from Knight Rider but with an unhealthy addiction to LOLCats and internet book shopping.

I had run into my blogger girl Christa accidentally twice already, and as I was attempting a planned journey to Duluth I thought I'd also attempt a planned run-in with her and our "now privately blogging" girl Banana. We met up at the world-famous RT Quinlan's bar in lovely downtown Duluth and proceeded to submerge ourselves in light beer and stories of days of yore.

Banana showed up cute as a motherfucking bug, tipsy and funny from a family b-day gathering. We all talked, we drank, we gathered the usual bunch of characters and had a blurry, funny, awesome time. I love love love these girls.

Here is a pic I stole from Christa of me & Banana at Quinlan's- note the nudie boobie pic in the background. That has been at Quinlan's as long as I can remember.

When I went to st. Louis to visit Gwennie, our drunken debauchery on my last night there almost caused me to miss my plane home. In my flailing, retarded, "speed-packing" I left a ton of stuff at her house, which she was then forced to either mail to me or give to the hobos. Lucky for me, she chose the wonderful US Postal service to handle my delicates.

Imagine my surprise when I found this little lovely in the mountain of Gwen's shredded bank statements (let me say that it took FOREVER to tape those suckers back together!).

My heart skipped a beat...


...FERNANDO!!!!!!



Oh, how I missed his smoky, bacony manliness. I'm not sure what adventures we'll be going on as I'm still working on finding out if he's still got that warrant out in Florida, but as soon as I do you can bet we'll be up to no good. And I may or may not have made out with him after washing him thoroughly. Lord knows where that little porker has been, you know.

Oh, and Pooter may or may not have made out with him as well. She's such a whore, that little pussy.


And, because I can't post pictures without at least two pictures of my furry turdlets, here is Pooter on top of the fridge, mocking my smileyface bowl thingy.


And finally- the icing on the cake, the cherry on my sundae, the bedazzler to my acid-washed denim jacket...

...a picture I took walking to work the other day. What is this, you ask? I'll tell you what it is- it's a big, hairy dude passed out in the grass with a big, hairy lady passed out ON TOP OF HIM. I would have taken a closer pic, but I was worried that they'd wake up and go all drunk Sasquatch on my ass. (Just click the pic for a closer view...)


You're very, very welcome.

Happy Tuesday, my liquored-up, porky mugs of Miller Lite. Happy Tuesday.

XO

26 comments:

Fancy Schmancy said...

Love the pics of the kitties, the hairy hobos - not so much!

Dr Zibbs said...

I wish McGone wasn't Gone.

Kim said...

That last pictures tells me I really should bring the camera along when I go out walking because you never know what fantastical things you might find. I love that.

Anna said...

Holy crap that last picture is funny!

Mommy Lisa said...

So inspired I almost spit diet coke at my screen!

I so need to bring my camera more places.

The other day driving through my town I saw a girl of about 16-20 wearing a RUBBER SUIT. Yes, exactly like you imagine. A suit to sweat out fat. Eww.

Then farther down the road a girl who was maybe 8 and WAY too heavy for her own good - motoring down the sidewalk at about 2 mph in a motorized car. Yes, the ones for kids who are like 4 or 5.

I live in lazy town.

Bethie said...

The "possibly Sasquatch" photo is amazing. Why not, indeed, pass out with a friend when passing out in the park? Sounds much more comfy to me!

Bubs said...

That picture of the couple was a thing of mad, twisted beauty.

Tell me you weren't just a little tempted to get closer and pop a paper bag really loudly, or maybe poke them with a long stick just to see what happened?

Suze said...

What a great idea. I usually pass out alone in the park. Next time I'll invite a drunk friend. Are you available April 18th WM?

Siana said...

You replace Monkey with a pig? He's gonna be soooo jealoooouusss!!!

CDP said...

Send Fernando to me. Harry Reid called, he's tired of waiting for you people to make up your minds re Coleman v. Franken, so Fernando's going to be seated in the Senate.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Fernando is baaaack!!! Whoo hoo! And whoopin it up in style at Wiskey's place. He is the boss hog! Can't wait to see what you two crayzees come up with!!

And uh, the white trash couple passed out on top of each other??
Did you check to see if they were dead? I'm just askin...

i am playing outside said...

too many awesome things to comment on, so ill just tell you how i just had to edit the word 'awesome' FOUR times because i kept misspelling it. oh dear.


WORD VERIFICATION: CONDLES

Give me some fecking condles and ill light up your borthday cake.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I love that little pig. And Fernando is cute too.





(Thanks, I'm here all week.)

McGone said...

I can't believe it's been over a year already and Fernando is finally allowed back to Minnesota. Thanks for dropping that restraining order against him, Whiskey. It really meant a lot to him.

Lara said...

That last picture just made my whole day bright and sunshiney. Thank you, WM. Thank sweet little baby Jesus for you.

Gwen said...

Can't. stop. laughing. at. the. drunk. people. in. the. park.

hahahahahahahahaha!

I wish I was there to play with you and Fernando.

OG said...

Love that last picture. You should have taunted them with Jack Links Beef Jerky.

Nature Girl said...

that last pic? YIKES! I think I might have risked it though...a closer pic that is..
You still crack me up to no end!
Stacie

Jacquie said...

That last picture makes me kinda sad. It would have been so much better if they had been naked....

WendyB said...

I was just talking to someone about how much I missed Fernando!

Grant Miller said...

You always have your camera handy for the classy times in life.

Aunt Snow said...

Whoa, those two must have partied pretty seriously.

TheHermanator said...

LMFAO ! Can you say "Derelicts" ? Too Damn funny as usual!
Oh, and the Kittys were good too. MeeeOW ! Herm

Gretta said...

OHMYGOD I MISS 'NANDO SOOOOO MUCH! Can we fashion him a flak jacket and send him to visit me in The Iraq?

Veronica said...

Best picture ever! I'm kinda' sad I missed out on their good time.

Landis said...

i see a "pig" theme here.