Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Navel gazing and other worthwhile pursuits

I am refusing to blog until I know the fate of my job, which I will tell you ALL about once I know what is happening, hopefully tomorrow.  Or Friday.  Or next month.  Sheesh- I work for the state- this could take a while, folks.  Needless to say, I will either be employed or unemployed and selling pencils on that freeway exit ramp at some point in the near or distant future.  Seriously- at this moment in time, you know as much as I do, which is saying a LOT.

As an "amuse bouche", if you will- a few other items on the "discussion agenda":
  • Botox
  • Groupons
  • Botox procured through Groupon
  • Feet
  • Vaginas
  • Just kidding
  • Uvulas
  • Sloth
  • Radishes
  • Underpants
As soon as I know. YOU'LL know.  Until then I'm laying on the couch, not blogging and re-reading trashy books, merely on principle and an astounding amount of laziness.


Scope said...

Didn't know you were taking out by the Minnesota budget "crisis". Here's a little story, just in case you find yourself in need of some advanced sales techniques.

A toothbrush company employed homeless people to sell toothbrushes on street corners. While most of the homeless people only sold 5 or so toothbrushes a day, "Freaky Freddy" routinely sold 500 a day.

His bosses at the company where so impressed, they called him in to explain his technique.

Freaky Freddy: "Well, I asks 'em if they want to buy a toothbrush. When they say 'No', I offers 'em a piece of chocolate candy. When they bite into the chocolate, they say 'This chocolate tastes like shit!', and I say, 'It is shit. Want to buy a toothbrush?'"

If you can't find a market, create one.

John D. said...

Wow, that list pushes ALL my buttons. Button pusher!

Employed or not, you can take comfort in knowing you're way smarter, funnier, and even your monkey knows more American history than Michele Bachmann (she started that band Bachmann, Turn'erOver, Drive after the French & Indian War) and she wants a job running ALL the states.

Mnmom said...

Me too - waiting on my job, waiting for the state to get a budget so our school knows wtf kind of budget THEY have etc.

Meanwhile, think I'll take a nap.

SkylersDad said...

I would buy a pencil from you, but would prefer an autographed picture of you uvula.

MommyLisa said...

GIRLS underpants.

p.s. swear I saw you walking on Larpenture(sp?and I drive by it every day!) yesterday morning.