Hi. I am not Whiskeymarie. My name is Septic Headed Peeface. The world renowned Whiskeymarie VonPartypants blog is now under my absolute control. She has abandoned you. Abandoned you. Abandoned you. For the sum of $802 and 11 cents, I will… I mean, she will…, no, YOU will… umm…
Aw, fuck it.
I’m totally not worthy of the mantle of responsibility here.
Click to embiggen deets.
Hysterical. I love it. I'll pay your reeward, let's get a drink!
I worry most about the little Captain. Hope he's OK.
If Freedom costs a buck-oh-five, then your ransom is worth almost 764 freedoms. Though I'm not versed in combining and/or dividing freedoms, just know everyone owes $1.05. So maybe you need 764 people to chip in their buck oh five and you're free?
Doan worries, Ms. Marie. We'll fig *hic* ure it up. Shouldn't've left that booze in yer last post. Where'd I put my gun?
But aren't you surprised we are all still here?? Just waiting on yer every word Miss VonPartyPants.
Ha HAH, Ricky Shambles! I just raised the reeward to nine HUNDRED DOLLERRRZZ! Put that in your freakin' calculator and smoke it!
What's that? ... it should say "ransom" instead of "reeward?"
Get that thing back to the printer before it gets all over the internets! I don't have 900 freakin' dollerrz! I'm surrounded by incompetence! Where did I put my layyyzzzer?
We were just talking about you this weekend. I'll get around to posting it soon, but let's just say, someone stepped up to the plate and let it all hang out in her rookie appearance this year.
REEWARD! Nice. Missed you.
What ever. At least now I know that little dog of yours hasn't been eating your remains on toast points these last few weeks.
Come back to us...
I will totally cute Peeface Mcwhatever if he doesn't give you back.
I'm pretty sure the "A" in "AWOL" stands for "Ambulatory."
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