Friday, December 3, 2010

Do you really think that Chuck Norris would drink a mai-tai? Really? C'mon!

I was driving down the freeway yesterday, and I saw a billboard for Bacardi "O" rum.  It said something along the lines of, "Work overtime...on your friendship."

All I could think was, Really?

I mean- sure, I have had every meaningful moment in my life over a cocktail had some "bonding" sorts of moments with people over a libation of one kind or another, but this ad sort of threw me off.

I mean, when you see a movie or something on the teevee where two people are engaged in deep, meaningful reminiscing or miscellaneous "life talk", generally it is over some sort of respectable type of beverage.  Two sisters laughing and crying together over one (or three) bottles of good red wine?  Been there, done that.  Two guys sharing a good bottle of whiskey after a particularly rough day?  I'm sure it happens all the time.  A glass of fine sherry in front of a roaring fire in your fancy high-rise city apartment?  Well, Fraiser and Niles did it all the time, so I'm guessing other folks have as well.  While I can easily see two sorority girls "pre-gaming" in their room with 13 shots of Bacardi "O" chased with gatorade before they go out to meet boys that they'll probably end up throwing up on during messy, grunty sex, I find it very hard to believe that two reasonable, adult individuals would sit around and "work on their friendship" over a bottle of Bacardi "O".  If it did, I would imagine it going something like this:

Guy 1: "Hey man, I owe you my life for pulling me and my family out of our house when it was on fire the other night.  And the fact that you went back in for Puddles, our cat?  In-freaking-credible.  Those burns sure look painful- I've never had a skin graft, but it looks like it really hurts.  You're a freaking hero!  I don't know how I could ever repay you- I love you, man."

Guy 2: "Dude- forget about it.  It's nothing you wouldn't have done for me, right? We're in in 'til the end, my man.  Now- what say we fire up the 'ol blender and kick back with a couple of tall, frosty banana-lime daiquiris?"

Guy 1: "Hells, yeah!  Make sure I get TWO umbrellas and extra sparklers, 'cause that's how I roll, yo!"

Annnnnd...scene.


Happy Friday, my fuzzy little navels- go out and have yourself a responsible, sensible adult beverage or three this weekend, yo.

19 comments:

kirby said...

I see what you mean. Rum is probably second only to tequila at ruining friendships.

John said...

You look sooo good in a green martini. And your Christmas banner is freakin' awesome. : )

Mnmom said...

Pre-gaming used to be the funnest part of the evening. White Shoulders mixed with the scent of Boone's Farm.

Mommy Lisa said...

"messy grunty sex" sounds like an "O" moment to me.

:)

Dr Zibbs said...

That reminds me that I need to start drinking more rum.

Catherine said...

You kick ass. Seriously.

SkylersDad said...

I would say that Rum is second only to cheap wine like Boones Farm for projectile vomit during messy grunty sex.

Brooke said...

Way to make the pregnant recovering alcoholic thirsty, Whiskey. Geeze. Fruity drinks always gave me acid reflux. I imagine that image to be some kind of frozen bloody mary? Do those exist? Would that be weird?

Johnson said...

Feel like the ad you saw could have worked had the word "friendship" been in quotations and it was all written over an image of two men arm in arm with one of them winking.

Gwen said...

Does Guy 1 do ANYTHING for that friendship? If I were guy 2 I'd have been all, "Make your own freaking drink, asshole, I just finished rescuing your sorry ass from a fire and shit."

I suggest Guy 1 offer to make the drinks and then give Guy 2 a quick wristie under the table. That'll even things out.

Jen said...

I saw this billboard today and wondered what they were trying to convey. All my marriages have commenced over Tequila while rum usually means either a FWB relationship or some other short lived kind of thing. If it's a meaningful relationship (a BFF)it will be over wine.

Lisa said...

The last time MathMan and I went out and got wasted together, rum and cokes were our drink of choice. By the end of the that evening, I'd lost my Bluetooth, our car got stuck in the mud and MathMan had hurl on his overcoat.

Good times.

Smart Ass Sara said...

I feel like life would be better if I were an alcoholic.

And this post proves it.

(Stopping by from our MN/WI Facebook blogger page.) :)

Stacey said...

Here's what I envision:

Girl 1:I so love you, girlfriend. I mean who else would let me borrow money, borrow clothes, borrow their car, call them at all hours when I need a shoulder and not ask for anything in return. And look I'm really sorry about that time I um accidentally kissed your boyfriend. I just needed someone and he was there. I mean you're such a friend! You didn't even get mad.

Girl 2: (sips heavily). Look bitch, if it weren't for this "O" I wouldn't have had the courage to let you know you're an irritating whore who takes takes takes and never gives.

Girl 1: shocked look...but I thought you liked-

Girl 2: I don't like a damn thing you do.

Girl 2 - kisses bottle of "O" and says "Thanks O for helping me get the courage up to cut this triflin bitch out of my life.

And scene ...I'm pretty sure I missed my calling in advertising

KLZ said...

I was sure there was gonna be a "you know how I know you're gay" joke in there. But, even better, there was a Chuck Norris one.

Venom said...

Found you through Cowguy - glad I did & adding you to my blogroll so I don't miss anything.

My current favourite drink (after Carolans in coffee, of course) is a hot rum toddy. 'Tis the season after all.

onthegomom said...

Strangely, I have a cat named Puddles. No. Lie. My daughter named him when she was 6, out of the blue. Never heard anyone else use that name. Just thought I would share...

John said...

If Chuck Norris drank a mai tai, he would clog the terlet when he pees.

http://www.thechucknorrisfacts.com/

Happy New Year!

Toots

Anonymous said...

Whiskey Marie where are you? Work has never been so boring :(
I miss your funny stories, hope everything is ok and you come back soon