Monday, April 11, 2011

Don't pee in the infinity pool, please.

What I've been up to in the few spare moments when I'm not trolling Facebook or obsessively inspecting my face for evidence of fault lines- in bullet form instead of Mandarin Chinese because that would just be confusing as I don't speak Mandarin and would have to just make it up as I go:
  •  I've been busy cultivating a "Moonlighting" style love-hate relationship with my new treadmill.  On one hand, it will hopefully help me in my never-ending quest to continue to wear real clothes (as opposed to buying painting tarps, cutting a hole for my head, and pulling the whole ensemble together with a garden hose belt), yet on the other hand I find myself deteriorating into Jerry springer-esque dialog with the beast every time I use it.  The other day I demanded it get a paternity test to determine if it, and not the toilet seat at the gas station, was the rightful parent of my pizza-induced food baby.  It agreed to the test, but then it informed me that it has another family in Idaho and that it has been working as a male prostitute on the side.  Oh well, if it can keep my ass from looking like a pair of pantyhose stuffed with baked beans, I guess I can live with it. 
  • I went to Mexico a few weeks ago.  I had never been, and I was dying to bust out my Spanglish-with-a-nasal-Midwest-accent on the locals.  It was perfectly warm & sunny, we drank copious amounts of margaritas and drinks served in pineapples, I managed to get yet another goofy-looking sunburn which will prohibit me from wearing anything but "summer-weight" turtlenecks for the next few months, and we managed (considering we normally think of ourselves as smart people, the type of people that are typically skeptical of anything even remotely smelling of "hoodwinkery" or "sheisterism") to get sucked into wasting 3+ hours of one day there listening to an overweight Southern gentleman named George tell us about why we are "exactly" the sort of people who should buy an overpriced timeshare in a gross, Americanized, "exclusive" community in Mexico.  Ugh.  I took some pictures this trip, but as my main goal over the 4 days was to be warm, read books, and eat/drink my way into a happy coma each day, I didn't take many:
 
Leaving Mn, completely undrugged for flying, unless you count two glasses of wine, which I don't.


The view from our hotel room.  


If I ever happen to come to Mazatlan with Christa, I bet we would totally hang out here more than we probably should. 


For John- my dirty, dirty feet on the beach, now with 100% more dog!


Wet, salt water hair, spf2000, a hat and sunglasses, yet I still managed to get burnt. 


We had the pool to ourselves the whole time.  I got my lovely manservant Renaldo to bring us a continual supply of giant margaritas from the bar, which was nice.  Since the pool overlooked the ocean, and since I am not a fan of sand in my buttcrack, we spent a large amount of time here. 

Happy Monday, my sunburned little nuggets of lime-flavored hairballs.  Happy Monday. 




13 comments:

Mommy Lisa said...

Nice. You had to take that trip!

Dr Zibbs said...

buttcrackery. haha

feisty said...

jealous of the continuous flow of margaritas.

jealous of the pool you had to yourselves.

jealous of the entire trip.

(not jealous of the news of the death of the 3rd student you knew. sad)

Mnmom said...

What feisty said. Warmth, manservant, drinks, pool - sounds like a plan.

Smart Ass Sara said...

Oh.. I don't call my treadmill a treadmill. It's always called a fuckmill because I am usually swearing the entire time. And cursing baby jeebus for giving me more fluff than any one person should need. It seems wrong that my fluff is overflowing when kids in Africa would like my fluff. There should be a "spread the fluff" organization or something.

Scope said...

So you waited get to get off the airplane before you roofied yourself? Good plan. That shite is way cheaper down there.

Christa said...

Ohhh. Can we go to Mexico and sing a bunch of karaoke? This is the best idea ever.

SkylersDad said...

Are you still finding sand in places you shouldn't?

I am glad you had a good time, you deserved it.

Gwen said...

You so cute. I can't wait to see you in 6 weeks.

kirby said...

I'm glad you were able to get away for at least a little while. How many of those little plastic drink monkeys did you bring home?

Anonymous said...

How lucky are you?!
And what really sucks now is I just heard that we could be getting snow showers this Friday! WTF?! I know this Minnesota, but c'mon already - it's damn near freakin' mid-April!
At least you got to get away from our bipolar weather for a bit - with emphasis on the polar!
Renata1967

John said...

"Qué amable de tu parte pensar en mí en México, señorita!"

You know what I like. ~ ( I'm just glad the doggie wasn't defecating. That would have kind of ruined the effect.

I know you deserved to get away, glad you had a wonderful time, and I hope George didn't get too many of your pesos. : )

Katrin said...

Sounds wonderful. Pool and all. Sigh. It's raining here. :(