- I can't seem to type today without having to correct typos every other word, and simple speech seems to be a monumental task. I'm thinking I had a stroke in my sleep. Does that mean I can skip work today?
- I think my new class is scared of me- I'm totally OK with that.
- I can't remember when I washed my hair last, and I don't have time to do it before work. Maybe I'll shape it into a giant, puffy chef's hat or a honkey 'fro and call it a day.
- I already mentioned this on Facebook, but a few weeks ago when I was at the grocery store, what I thought was a bird whizzed by my head in the toilet paper aisle. When it turned around and flew by me again, I realized that it was a bat. While I was looking for an employee to notify of Dracula's arrival, the bat must have flown into the main checkout area. There was screaming, people running for cover, and cashiers trying to trap the bat with plastic grocery baskets. Total chaos. I seemed to be the only one who wasn't freaked out, so I checked out in the self-checkout and went on my merry way. I hope the bat was OK, but holy hell, that sure was entertaining to watch.
- There is a totally shitballs-crazy dude at the gym that I'm kind of obsessed with watching, just to see what cookoo thing he'll do next. Like, muttering nonstop, crazy eyes, obsessively moving very heavy equipment one inch that way then one inch the other, throwing newspaper pages around, and kind of "dancing" on the stairmaster. Last time I saw him, his antics cleared a mostly-full room in about 10 minutes. Except me- of course I couldn't stop watching.
- Also at the gym: a totally naked woman in the locker room decided to chat me up the other day. I'm too polite to say, "Um, could you at least put a towel on? Seriously lady, your glory days were over a long time ago and not looking at your gravity-challenged stuff is difficult, at best." I guess she liked my purse. Um...okay.
- I bought new, flat, knee-high black boots for fall that I'm in love with. I figured that I earned them with my astounding laziness and sloth this summer. Whatever- they were on sale.
- Summer is finally winding down, and the temperatures are finally dipping into "not as hot as Satan's bung after three hours of step aerobics" range. What does this mean, you may ask? Well, it means that I finally have enough energy to not only get off my ass, but to also "do things" and "leave the house". Also, my mood is considerably better and I no longer punch random people in the crotch from "heat rage". Not only will I maybe get some of those pesky restraining orders lifted, but I may actually stop by this here blog more than once a menses cycle. I know- promises, promises.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Random bits- much like the frozen , leftover morsels of dead squirrels that I keep in my freezer, just in case:
Posted by Whiskeymarie at 12:13 PM
Labels: random nuggets of stuff that I pulled from my belly button, scary nudity, yet another stroke