Thursday, December 3, 2009

Did I ever tell you about that one time...?

I realized today, when I was telling a few of my students "Shorty's tale" that I, Whiskeymarie VonPartypants, I am a textbook over-sharer.

The minute I finished the story of the epic adventure and they were laughing, I had a moment where I was kind of "oh..." on the inside.

It's not that I'm worried what they'll think about me, because I really, truly don't- I mean, really don't. If I cared what they thought I'd actually put effort into my appearance at work once in a while and bother with things like brushing my hair, wiping the crumbs off of my face, or bathing more often. Maybe I'd even pick the stuff out of my teeth occasionally.

No, what struck me was, "Hey! Maybe they don't want to know about your pet's pooping habits! Maybe no one cares about that time you saw a squirrel eating a chicken wing on the way to work (I did- for realsies!) Maybe, just maybe, no one wants to know how good you are at pretend tap dancing, dammit! Maybe they just listen because they have to!

Then I thought, "Duh- of course they want to hear every drop of goodness and wisdom that comes forth from your pie-hole, because you're awesome, Whiskey."

So...then I launched into telling them the fantastical tale of the time I found a dollar in a bus station bathroom, tucked neatly under the gelatinous bottom of a sleeping lady-hobo.

And they were mesmerized...

...right?

Right??

Hi, my name is Whiskey and I'm an over-sharer.

"Hi, Whiskey!"



Happy nearly Friday, my little shoe-lickers. Happy nearly Friday.

XO

27 comments:

SkylersDad said...

I came for the tap dancing, but stayed for the poop. You can never over share with us!

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

I'm more of a secret keeper and need over-sharers like you to keep everyone else entertained so they don't start asking me too many questions or blow my cover see.

Keith said...

As I was staring at your new banner and gazing deeply into your one brown eye that's almost behind that green liquid in the martini glass, i could only wonder, "What in the hell is goin' on in her head at this very moment?!?!"

And then I read your post and got the answer.

As we say way down in these parts, "You're a damn mess!" That doesn't necessarily mean anything bad, though it could mean that you are a meth addicted street walker that hasn't had a fix in a couple of days and willing to do anything to get a high. But that ain't what I am saying ... I'm simply comparing you to over-mischievousness. A trait that we both share and one that I damn well am proud of.

I gotta go before I get accused of over-sharing! Take her easy.

kilax said...

I totally overshare too. I try not to think about it too much because I might change who I am if I do ;)

Love the new banner!

Kate said...

Man, reading Shorty's Tale again made my week. Seriously. I can go forth and research sh*t to the nines, and if I need to relax, I will think of Shorty.

And of techno geeks striking gold.

For this, I thank you.

Imnotbenny said...

I am also an over-sharer, but after trying time and again to stop, I realize that it's just not going to happen, so SUCK IT WORLD, here comes the stories.

So after reading kilax's comment, I went and scrolled up to the top and saw that yes indeed, there IS a new banner, cause I'm observant.

I think I like this one as much as the pirate one.

What's up with me and one-eyed women?

I'm going to go cruise Craig's list for cyclops now.

Imnotbenny said...

Wait a minute, you found some sweet hobo-butt-money?

I think that means seven years of good luck or something.

John said...

You know I've always *HATED* Shorty, and you know why!

And you look incredibly fabulous today. : ))

Some Guy said...

If you were an under-sharer, I probably would've stopped reading your blog a long time ago, so I for one am grateful.

LegalMist said...

I can tell you without a doubt that it was not polite laughter; they were not just listening because they had to listen.

No, no, my dear, they were hanging on every word of that sordid tale!

Loved the link. I missed the shorty tale, not being a regular reader back then.

Keep sharing it all - we'll let you know if we ever get tired of reading about it....!

Sornie said...

As long as you aren't sharing visual evidence of the color/texture of your own poo, you aren't oversharing.

Gwen said...

The new banner makes me want to lick your face. (How's that for over-sharing?)

TWO WEEKS.

Steph said...

I heart the new banner. Makes me want a martini.

Shanster said...

I love Shorty's tale... love it. I read it a long time ago and sent it to a girlfriend... it brought back memories. I only overshare after having too much to drink and since my alcohol tolerance is sky high now... well.... I guess I'm not oversharing today ... yet.

glorianabeausoleil said...

Yeah, what they said. And I thing your fan-spankin'-tastic. Oversharing makes my world go round!

T.J. said...

Do you *still* have the note on your fridge?

Oh, and OMFG!!

Your banner pic....

I'm going to send that bowl, I promise. It's been hard getting around without a car....

Wow...word verification = hydra... real word again.

Kim said...

If it wasn't for your oversharing, my life would have a lot less meaning.

rcubed said...

Boundaries are overrated. If it weren't for your completely appropriate sharing, how would a shut-in like myself have any sort of vicarious life? It was like I was there, having drunk butt sex and wearing cool shoes. Now I never have to actually do those things. Thank God, because I don't know how to walk in heels.

WendyB said...

I once saw a squirrel with a McDonald's bag. And it growled at me (the squirrel, not the bag). I'm serious!

gorillabuns said...

man, your skin looks so smooth and pretty!

Siana said...

Nothing wrong with oversharing- especially with school kids. They got to learn somehow.

Aunt Snow said...

I DO want to hear about the squirrel with the chicken wing. That's totally cool. Did he have bleu cheese dip and celery with it?

WM said...

Blogger = oversharer. They are synonyms right ?

;)

Scope said...

It was a pleasure to meet you this weekend. Too bad I left my camera at home.

At the moment I believe in undersharing. :-)

domboy said...

It's all in the presentation ... just smile like you mean it.

Siana said...

Where...the hell...are you?

Don't make me come find you. Blog something!

Kat said...

Nice to see you again. Happy Holidays :)