Actual, un-retouched photos, both taken today (I shit you not)(You know I wouldn't shit you. Or ON you, for that matter.)(But I'd totally talk shit about you if you did that one thing we never talk about anymore)(You know the one.)(You know- the one that got you ARRESTED in Tijuana, dummy.)(Anyhoo...):
#1, the one we'll gently call "before" much like adult diapers are called "personal undergarments":
And #2, the one we'll call "holy shit, that skanky hobo cleans up real nice!":
I can't lie, people- this winter has kicked my psyche's ass HARD. I'm lethargic, prone to drinking wine in the afternoon, and pretty much not giving of a shit on any level, physical or metaphysical. This blog has taken a back seat to sad online shopping and hiding my "Real Housewives of..." habit much like a heroin addict, minus the track marks. The fact that I once again feel like an actual female member of the human race who actually possesses a vagina makes me feel like...
me:1, Seasonal Affective Disorder:0
I Winned!!!
(And I owe my hairdresser a huge cake with sparkles, rainbows and sugar unicorns.)
I hope I'm back, bitches. I really hope I am.
If not, go kick a snowman in the junk in my honor. That fucker owes me.
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