Comments on Whiskeymarie: I'm not touching you, I'm not touching you, I'm no...

Coming thisclose to jumping over the counter and s...

2008-06-10T23:47:00.000-05:00

Coming thisclose to jumping over the counter and strangling a douchey condescending cable "customer service" rep got me on bill-paying and book/jewelry/etc-internet buying mode. But I still love to try perfumes, lotions, at the mall, and snacks at Trader Joe's and such, so I pull myself together and drag my antisocial butt out every now and then.

I've always depended on the kindness of strangers....

2008-06-10T10:09:00.000-05:00

I've always depended on the kindness of strangers.

Most of my favorite people are strangers.

2008-06-07T10:40:00.000-05:00

Most of my favorite people are strangers.

I'm a social misfit, but I've found something that...

2008-06-06T22:46:00.000-05:00

I'm a social misfit, but I've found something that has helped me 500%.
I actually went out and bought a pair of size 15, red, Chuck Taylors. Within in minutes, I have 3-4 chicks asking me all kinds of personal questions. I still don't understand why red shoes seem so intriguing to women.

Um wait? I thought Tobie worked at my 'Petsmart'.....

2008-06-06T22:13:00.000-05:00

Um wait? I thought Tobie worked at my 'Petsmart'.... How did he/she make it all the way to Minnesota? Job transfer perhaps? Lord I'm gonna miss that son-of-a...uh,...daughter-of-a... Oh well, that bitch!

And how can we (the entire WM-reading world), be entirely sure you aren't already saving your feces in a jar? Hmmmmm?

btw: Let's hear it for the size 9.5 foot... It can kick some serious ass!

F@&%'ing Google/Blogger doesn't recognize me so I'm posting this as ANON... But it's me, embee from thepapertreehouse! This is what I get for making fun of Tobie.

If you move to a cabin in the woods, you're going ...

2008-06-05T21:51:00.000-05:00

If you move to a cabin in the woods, you're going to have a hell of a time trying to get delivery and postal men to come bring you your stuff.

Also, ungroomed hermits rarely get laid. Just reminding you.

I think if any of us actually enjoyed talking to o...

2008-06-05T20:36:00.000-05:00

I think if any of us actually enjoyed talking to other humans in person more, we wouldn't be blogging.

As for the drive-through, several years ago, the McDonald's near my apartment at the time started this weird experiment where you had to actually drive up and talk to an employee directly and THEN drive to another window to pick up your food. I was so glad they nixed that idea as quickly as they did. When I'm having my once-a-year guilty pleasure Big Mac, I really don't need anyone staring me in the face while I order it.

I always choose the misanthropic option if it's th...

2008-06-05T16:13:00.000-05:00

I always choose the misanthropic option if it's there. What's so good about people who aren't me? Nothin'.

I hate strangers, they are usually a**h*les.

2008-06-05T14:47:00.000-05:00

I hate strangers, they are usually a**h*les.

There are hotels in Japan where you don't have to ...

2008-06-05T14:16:00.000-05:00

There are hotels in Japan where you don't have to come into contact with anyone. You check in on a screen, and everything is automated.

Indulge!

I need to read backwards to discover this change f...

2008-06-05T13:53:00.000-05:00

I need to read backwards to discover this change from hard drinking party going big smoochy woman to recluse. I've been a recluse for years and only just now, because of your suggestion, realized I should be saving my feces for future research.

I went to high school with a guy who saved his toenail clippings and kept them in quart jars. We thought he was strange. But nobody tried to do an intervention--but the girls were too grossed out by this bit of eccentricity to actually date him. Turns out he inherited millions and is now married to a much younger woman and has a couple of lovely children. Is there a point to all of this? Probably not. But you don't seem like a recluse to me.

Betcha if you pledge to not talk to another human ...

2008-06-05T13:07:00.000-05:00

Betcha if you pledge to not talk to another human being for the next week and a half you will be craving conversation by day 6.

I see your 9.5 and raise you to 11WW.Please invite...

2008-06-05T11:44:00.000-05:00

I see your 9.5 and raise you to 11WW.

Please invite me over for rhubarbtinis. I'll bring something yummy to share, like vodka and oreos.

xoxo

~S

We have a drive through at Jimmy Johns!

2008-06-05T08:03:00.000-05:00

We have a drive through at Jimmy Johns!

"Alcohol may or may not have been involved..."You'...

2008-06-05T06:33:00.000-05:00

"Alcohol may or may not have been involved..."

You're preaching to the choir, sister.

9.5 shoes? Heh. That's my short (5'8") wife's size. The daughters go up from there, all the way to women's 13 for my 6' eldest.

You had me at size 9 and a half feet.

2008-06-05T00:59:00.001-05:00

You had me at size 9 and a half feet.

I find myself doing the same things. It seems like...

2008-06-04T23:04:00.000-05:00

I find myself doing the same things. It seems like whenever I deal with actual clerks (or whatever they are called) I am annoyed by how rude/dumb they are.

But you've got to get out there and put your hand on people's shoulder. Ha ha.

Just don't go sitting on any toilets for two years...

2008-06-04T20:11:00.000-05:00

Just don't go sitting on any toilets for two years.

I will sign the petition for Jimmy Johns and Chip...

2008-06-04T18:03:00.000-05:00

I will sign the petition for Jimmy Johns and Chipotle. I do not need to wait in line for some idiot to call their wife/mama/sister/friend/husband/whatever to ask them what kind of salsa they want on their burrito. I know what I want and can order by the drive thru window, thank you very much. So, where to I sign?

I go through the same phases...so glad computers a...

2008-06-04T16:27:00.000-05:00

I go through the same phases...so glad computers are around. Otherwise, I would have to actually deal with people.

I had to really really fight with myself to go ove...

2008-06-04T15:05:00.000-05:00

I had to really really fight with myself to go over to a friend's house for dinner last Saturday night instead of staying home and watching old Gilmore Girls dvds. What is happening to us??? I'm glad I'm married or I might never leave the house.

--Kim

Whiskey, dear, there's medication that can help yo...

2008-06-04T14:58:00.000-05:00

Whiskey, dear, there's medication that can help you overcome this thing. Really.

L-A-Z-Y you ain't got no alibi...But don't be offe...

2008-06-04T13:32:00.000-05:00

L-A-Z-Y you ain't got no alibi...

But don't be offended,dear , the only reason I recognize this type of behavior is because I practice it myself. Every day.

Actually, I don't so much like to call it lazy as I do partaking of all the modern conveniences that someone who understands me well created!
;)

I feel the same way. I like shopping online becau...

2008-06-04T12:36:00.000-05:00

I feel the same way. I like shopping online because I HATE interacting with overly friendly sales people in stores. When one of those solicitous souls approaches me, I want to dive under the nearest rack and hide.

I can relate, as I'm occasionally in need of the s...

2008-06-04T11:17:00.000-05:00

I can relate, as I'm occasionally in need of the same intervention. We'll come and get you if you disappear into a cabin (but if you refuse to re-join society, you should rename yourself the Unablogger).