Comments on Whiskeymarie: You remember money, right? I think ABBA wrote some...

Cousin was stationed in a most impressive Manor Ho...

2012-01-25T12:35:23.596-06:00

Cousin was stationed in a most impressive Manor House in England prior to D-Day. [the government had taken over the house...think Downton Manor] Fifty years later, he and his wife returned. The current Lord / Duke was delighted to welcome them ... took them on a tour of the (still private) house and said "aren't we just so lucky!"

Cousin was moved to see that someone literally 'to the manor born' was aware that only an accident of birth had brought him all this good life.

Heck, even the middle class folks who were born mi...

2012-01-03T00:10:01.626-06:00

Heck, even the middle class folks who were born middle class sometimes just don't "get it" about the choices the lower middle class must make re: rent or gas, much less the choices the truly poor must make re: food or electricity, or even, "food for the kids or food for me?" I've got one friend who truly believes the homeowner's deduction, child care deduction, and other middle class perks should remain intact, but other than that we should have a flat tax rate so the working poor can pay their "fair share" of taxes, and she can quit paying for all their welfare.

Uh, yeah.... Because then the working poor (not generally on welfare, actually) will actually pay a higher tax rate, since they won't benefit from that mortgage deduction or the child care credits because they can't afford to buy houses or pay for child care... Yeah, that seems fair...

I doubt very seriously that those who are born uber-wealthy ever truly understand. They may sympathize or even think they "get it." But they don't.

I will say, I know quite a few uber wealthy people...

2011-12-21T16:27:39.749-06:00

I will say, I know quite a few uber wealthy people thanks to my mom's boss/friend. Wealth as in... last I knew, mom's friend was worth about $200M. And we're from Iowa. Imagine that kind of money in Iowa!

And they are the *nicest* people, because they DID start out poor. R's wife and their daughter cleaned the office and restrooms every night when the business was new because he couldn't afford to hire cleaning staff. They maintained that humility and down-to-earthness their whole lives.

So I think there's a big difference between people who start out poor or middle class and work to become wealthy, and people who are born to it.

I was on a luxury cruise in the Mediterranean -- I...

2011-12-21T16:13:06.436-06:00

I was on a luxury cruise in the Mediterranean -- I know! It sounds like I'm rich! But no. After my dad died, my mom's very wealthy boss/friend treated my mom, my brother, and me to a two-week Mediterranean vacation so we could spend time together. (never. again.)

But at one point on the cruise, we rescued an ailing tiny vessel full of Algerians trying to make their way to Italy (think: Cubans to Florida). It was a huge deal, and very moving, actually, to witness the rescue.

The next day, the young Dutch ship captain made an announcement, addressing those wealthy patrons who had expressed to him their concern for their own wellbeing and safety after we took the Algerians on board. He described the steps that were taken to keep us all "safe."

Then he laid into the rich bastages. Basically: "You think you have what you have and you are on this luxury cruise ship because of your own hard work? Think again. 99% of what you have and who you are is based on one thing: Where you are born. And you had the good fortune to be born in the U.S. Don't pat yourself on the back for having achieved so much, because if you'd been born in Algeria, the most you ever may have achieved would be an attempt to make it to greater opportunities via a rickety boat on an unpredictable sea."

It was one ginormous "SUCK IT!" And it was awesome. I stood up and applauded, as did quite a few other (mostly younger, it was a geezer cruise) people!

I Really enjoyed this Post, and all the clever ...

2011-11-11T21:23:18.796-06:00
I Really enjoyed this Post, and all the clever and insightful comments.
Like You, I grew up poor-but-not-poverty-stricken, and much like you, I spent my working life at the Country Clubs and lakeside Resorts, and later on, Catering to the wealthier of that same clientele. In my experience, most of those peep's didn't have any idea what my life was like, while I got to know their's very well.
The "Old Money" people were usually the ones who made their kids do chores for their allowance, and later to help pay for their College by at least working for folks like me at the Bars and Restaurants around Bloomington Indiana.
On the other hand, the "nouveau riche" were the self-indulgent ones, who spoiled their kids, rationalized all their faults, and ended up with middle-aged, obese drunks and drug-addicts who Never left the Nest !
So, I tend to agree with the commentors who, like you, have a comfortable life, with a Job you Love, someone who Loves You, and are Grateful for what they have earned in life. Again, Great Post !

I've always wondered the same things. What th...

2011-10-29T22:32:01.872-05:00
I've always wondered the same things. What the hell is that LIKE? To not even know, or care, when payday is. To never having to pump just $10 of gas cuz that's all you have. To clip coupons and eat bagged cereal. To never EVER worry about losing your health insurance.

But then again, because I've always lived on the poorer side of things, I enjoy the little things so much more. A cup of coffee on the deck, a good meal with friends, a full tank of gas. I doesn't take boo-shit-diddley to make me happy.

Your commenters are way funnier than I could be. ...

2011-10-22T23:40:52.324-05:00
Your commenters are way funnier than I could be.

But I get what you're saying. My husband has to fundraise, so we are often invited to homes of donors. Some, you can just tell, are self-made folks who remember what their early days were like - that's why they give. Others are just giving because they want to be in the "club."

The worst was a creepy, LA software/security industry exec. Trying to get on the board of my husband's non-profit, he invited the other board members to a reception at his home.

When we entered his ostentatious MegaMcMansion, dropped our car at the valet, we were escorted into the house PAST the living room - which had twin grand pianos facing one another. We were ushered into a stone tile floored room off the patio, and served white wine and cheese and crackers there.

Yes, only white wine. You see, the stone tiles were white, and they were worried that someone might spill red wine which would stain them.

He apparently felt the entire board - his fellow donors - weren't civilized enough to sip wine in his living room.

My butler just read your blog post out loud to me ...

2011-10-11T13:39:57.290-05:00
My butler just read your blog post out loud to me and I simply had to have my assistant take dictation for a response.

Rich people totally understand the plight of the common folk. It's like I was telling my driver the other day, "Look at that squeegee kid," I said. "Give him one of the twenties from the change dish so that he doesn't touch the Benz with his filthy hands."

You see? We get it. Get the grapes Martha. End of dictation.

At the end of the day, I'd rather be happy tha...

2011-10-11T12:38:53.964-05:00
At the end of the day, I'd rather be happy than rich. As long as I'm doing what I love, surrounded by the people I love, then all is well in my world. Of course, I can still dream about being a famous photographer that jet-sets across the world... but I would still want to do everything by myself. Integrity, determination, creativity from suffering, working hard for what you want -- those things can't be handed to you on a silver platter!

The irony is, the people that were born into extreme wealth don't "GET" a lot of the normal things that make life so much more interesting.

PS. Go back and take photos of your dream spot for me!

"But I can't help wonder- what would it b...

2011-10-11T10:33:35.127-05:00
"But I can't help wonder- what would it be like? You know, never ,ever, EVER having to worry? Not for a single second in your life?"

Generally speaking, I think it would be boring. It would be wonderful to not worry, but I also think most of us who didn't grow up that way would turn into insufferable, boring dullards.

The people I know who did grow up with unlimited resources are ridiculously boring as well. Which is why I've gotten plastered at some of my husband's employer's holiday parties. A table full of Ivy League trust funders who have matching Land Rovers, talk about art while wearing sour facial expressions and have nothing interesting to say about interesting topics? Pass the vodka.

The rich will never, ever understand what a tough ...

2011-10-10T18:09:31.352-05:00
The rich will never, ever understand what a tough choice is like you described. Rent or groceries? Gas or the gas bill? And go to work when you feel like you are going to die from the flu, because if you don't show up, you don't get a days pay.

I'm sure you've watched an episode of the ...

2011-10-10T14:38:54.834-05:00
I'm sure you've watched an episode of the Kardashians by this point? No, obviously, the rich don't get it.

And if Kim ever paid less than full-price for boots, her shrill banshee of a mother would make sure there would be an interview with Ryan Seacrest the very next morning, a spread in US Magazine and at least 45 minutes of E! News to inform the "commoners" of the sacrifices Kim makes in this economy.

Christ, there needs to be one of those Occupy Wall Street rallies at their house.

I saw a PBS special a couple of years ago called &...

2011-10-10T09:43:16.350-05:00
I saw a PBS special a couple of years ago called "Class in America" that says everything I could say on this subject, only better. I remember hearing Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous guy one time say that we couldn't imagine how different their lives our from ours. I'm sure the converse is true. The only thing that galls me is those who don't realize how lucky they are to be born that way, but I suppose that's one of the differences.

Everyone likes nice things, but money only buys co...

2011-10-10T09:27:55.192-05:00
Everyone likes nice things, but money only buys comfort, not happiness. I personally don't think it's a good thing for us to have all the material things we think we want. Got good health? Somebody to love and loves you? A comfortable home? A few bucks? Then you have a blessed life. — You know that. : )

Wealthy people don't understand? Just look at...

2011-10-10T00:21:05.899-05:00
Wealthy people don't understand? Just look at all the good things Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne do for us commoners. Are you still mad because Jeb Clampett won't return your calls?

they don't get it. i have been friends with mo...

2011-10-09T22:34:02.788-05:00
they don't get it. i have been friends with more than a few girls who grew up "privileged." not like the compound you describe, but they didn't have to work in high school, let alone college, never paid for their own cars, cell phones, carried a credit card paid for by their parents. over the years, i had to let them go, because as i liked to say "they'll never understand my hustle."

basic things like "i can't do sushi this weekend because things are tight" to bigger things like "no, i cannot skip work tomorrow to go to miami" never made sense to them.

i'm tired. good to hear from you.

"These days, having a semi-secure job that yo...

2011-10-09T21:25:02.678-05:00
"These days, having a semi-secure job that you actually enjoy is a rarity- ".

Amen to that. We are lucky. I do still wonder what it would be like to have more money and not have to work....I'd imagine one could fill a day quite easily. Maybe not productively though....