Comments on Whiskeymarie: The decider, now decided, done deciding.

Ahem,In my tweleve years of federal law enforcemen...

2008-07-17T05:26:00.000-05:00

Ahem,

In my tweleve years of federal law enforcement, I have never. Ever. Lied or padded my testimony.

Next time you are in a jury pool, tell them that you prefer to date cops.

Ugh...I've been lucky to never have to do jury dut...

2008-07-16T19:12:00.000-05:00

Ugh...I've been lucky to never have to do jury duty. Ha, I'm so gonna get a summons tomorrow now that I said that.

redhead- I suspected as much about the cops, and t...

2008-07-16T14:51:00.000-05:00

redhead- I suspected as much about the cops, and the defense attorneys went back and forth (to me) seeming like the gave a shit about their client, then that they didn't give a shit. I wouldn't have put "padding" beyond them.

The "chink" story is hilarious. I knew that the easiest way to get off of this jury would have been to go against everything I believe and say I was a racist, but even I couldn't do it. Mostly because I pictured myself running into one of my fellow jurors down the road and getting "that look" and a possible beat-down.

Also, I have an amusing story for you, Ms. Whiskey...

2008-07-16T12:33:00.000-05:00

Also, I have an amusing story for you, Ms. Whiskey: Several years ago, a comedian was on Conan's show. She was in California and she talked about how she had been called for jury duty and she wanted out of it for whatever reason (serving on a jury in California seems to be extra crappy).

The SJQ (juror questionnaire as I mentioned in the previous post) she took home asked about her opinions on Asian people, as the case involved alleged discrimination of an Asian man. Her roommate suggested she answer that question this way: "I hate chinks." But the comedian hated that! As she told Conan, "I have Asian friends! I have nothing against Asian people, and I couldn't lie about it and sound racist just to get out of jury duty."

She answered the question with: "I love chinks."

HIlarity ensued.

And NBC was ripped apart in the media by some Asian-American group, demanding that NBC apologize, fire her, fire Conan, etc. NBC stood their ground with simply, "It was funny." Ha!

That level of voir dire is done solely to pad the ...

2008-07-16T12:28:00.000-05:00

That level of voir dire is done solely to pad the pockets of the attorneys. I promise you. In any decently run courtroom, those voir dire questions are given to you on a questionnaire that you can take home an answer. The in-person questioning should be saved for more specific, detailed questioning. Sounds like Hennepin County court, though, eh? :)

Here's some jury research for you: The least trustworthy of witnesses (other than perhaps gang members) is COPS. People know that many cops are willing to lie to get a conviction if they're convinced the defendant is guilty. The ends justify the means sort of thing.

Signed,
Former Trial Consultant

Yay! It's over. And I'm so glad you didn't get a s...

2008-07-16T10:17:00.000-05:00

Yay! It's over. And I'm so glad you didn't get a scary trial. When I had to go last year it was for a man who was charged with the "intent" to sell marijuana. I wanted to say "Are you fucking kidding me? Just make it legal already!" He was selling a fucking dime bag for god's sake! So needless to say, I didn't lose sleep over the outcome of the trial. I'm glad you didn't either.

DAMN, here I saw 4 unread posts on my reader and w...

2008-07-16T01:38:00.000-05:00

DAMN, here I saw 4 unread posts on my reader and was drooling at the prospect of murder, mob mayhem, and a runaway jury! Oh well, so to the laptop-napper I say: ROT in the pen, scoundrel!

Here's the deal with jury trials, at least here in...

2008-07-16T01:28:00.000-05:00

Here's the deal with jury trials, at least here in Cook County, Illinois, and especially for no-brainer cases like the one you describe.

If you have a reasonable defense, or the state has a weak case, you go for a bench trial because a judge will cut right through the bullshit. If you are guilty as sin, and your prior record precludes any chance of a plea agreement, you go for a jury trial and pray that you get a jury loaded with some idiots like the one you describe. You've got a much better chance baffling some stupid or inattentive jurors with bullshit. You've got a much better chance of a not guilty or at least a mistrial with a jury.

Thanks for doing your civic ducty and turning it into an entertaining story for the rest of us

better to be a very prolific blogger than a very p...

2008-07-16T00:32:00.000-05:00

better to be a very prolific blogger than a very prolific burglar, that's what i always say.

WHAT?! No shooting on the courtroom steps? Crap, ...

2008-07-15T20:57:00.000-05:00

WHAT?! No shooting on the courtroom steps? Crap, I got all wound up for nothing.

P to the S: Make super-tight friends with a cop in the next four years, I hear that gets you out of the mix right quick.

I thought there would be a,"after that we all got ...

2008-07-15T18:05:00.000-05:00

I thought there would be a,"after that we all got drunk," in there somewhere.

i was on federal jury for 6 weeks and LOVED IT! c...

2008-07-15T17:12:00.000-05:00

i was on federal jury for 6 weeks and LOVED IT! course when you're on federal jury you're treated like royalty. you have your own jury room where we brought snacks and games and played and read and napped and had almost every thursday off...aaah...it was grand. superior court? sucks.

That's the one thing I remember from high school c...

2008-07-15T15:21:00.000-05:00

That's the one thing I remember from high school civics class. If you are innocent, ask for trial by judge. If you're guilty, ask for a jury. Let me tell you, that little bit of info has saved my bacon many a time.

I guess it's better than something awful happening...

2008-07-15T14:14:00.000-05:00

I guess it's better than something awful happening. I'm bitterly disappointed all the same.

Kind of a dull one. Less SVU than I was hoping. St...

2008-07-15T11:41:00.000-05:00

Kind of a dull one. Less SVU than I was hoping. Still, 300K is some serious thievery.

When I was on jury duty, I told them I had committ...

2008-07-15T11:13:00.000-05:00

When I was on jury duty, I told them I had committed a crime, a crime had been committed against me, I was pregnant and I believe people are guilty before proven innocent.

They still picked me for the jury.

I am hereby dreading the day I get called for jury...

2008-07-15T10:20:00.000-05:00

I am hereby dreading the day I get called for jury duty. Although here in the land of the Canuck, our lawyers have to wear robes and wigs in court! Weeeee!

You are the kind of sensible, big-picture, non-toy...

2008-07-15T09:57:00.000-05:00

You are the kind of sensible, big-picture, non-toy-sharing juror I'd want on my case if I was framed for a not so obvious crime!

OK, so maybe I've changed my mind and I don't want...

2008-07-15T09:20:00.000-05:00

OK, so maybe I've changed my mind and I don't want to serve on a jury.

you pretty much summed up our legal system, hours ...

2008-07-15T09:04:00.000-05:00

you pretty much summed up our legal system, hours upon hours of tedium and bureaucracy for one moment of excitement. welcome to my professional life.

Why didn't you just get out of it by handing them ...

2008-07-15T08:48:00.000-05:00

Why didn't you just get out of it by handing them a link to this blog?

Good for you for doing your civic duty. I'm still...

2008-07-15T08:30:00.000-05:00

Good for you for doing your civic duty. I'm still on call for jury, civil jury duty damn it.

You've made the streets safer. Thanks. :)

2008-07-15T07:43:00.000-05:00

You've made the streets safer. Thanks. :)

I had jury duty a couple months ago, but I didn't ...

2008-07-15T06:44:00.000-05:00

I had jury duty a couple months ago, but I didn't get picked for a trial. I guess the system really does work.

I find you Guilty... of being awesome.

At least it's over, right? Did you knit something?...

2008-07-15T03:34:00.000-05:00

At least it's over, right? Did you knit something?